A gift from me – a new hair metal ballad


The other day I saw Aerosmith and Cheap Trick, and it was awesome. Yet a few things hit me up front.

-       There are still actually people who will verbally complain at you if you stand up at a rock concert
-       These people epitomize everything I hate in the world
-       Except for cliff diving not being an Olympic sport
-       Which I hate, yet is probably not that persons fault
-       Although I doubt she was a cliff diver
-       Or even a cliff diving enthusiast enthusiast
-       Fucking loser
-       Those guys in those bands are old and still rock like shit
-       I should stop complaining about my tired old joints at only thirty five
-       There hasn’t been a proper hair metal ballad for a long time
-       I should write one
-       Like this one

Please be my n 'roll
 
(Verse 1)
I was living hard
But feeling soft
I was reaching high
But feeling low
I was hoping big
But feeling small
I was reaching wide
But feeling narrow

(Bridge 1)
Finding my life in a car
Just before I had to pay the garage toll
And yet spare change appeared
Like from a magic hole

(Chorus 1)
You were that hole
Because you are my rock
Please let me be your n’ roll

(Verse 2)
I was hoping for smart
Yet feeling dumb
I was dreaming of Thai
Yet feeling Korean
I was trying to see
Yet wearing specs
I was not wanting to be blind
Yet not really seein’

(Bridge 2)
Finding my life in a boat
Just before I had to pay the river-crossing toll
And yet spare change appeared
Like from a magic bowl

(Chorus 2)
You were that bowl
Because you are my rock
Please let me be your n’ roll

(Bridge 3)
Finding my life in a airplane
Just before I had to pay the sky toll
And yet spare change appeared
Like from a magic soccer goal

(Chorus 3)
You were that soccer goal
Because you are my rock
Please let me be your n’ roll

-       Now for the best part
-       I am not currently in a hair metal band
-       This means I have no use for this song
-       Bridge means ‘over a body of water'
-     Hence the river reference
-     If I was in a hair metal band I am not sure if we'd use it anyway
-     I mean obviously it's brilliant
-       Yet I am fond of being wasteful
-       Like starting new points
-       That could have finished in the
-       Last point
-       But was started
-       On
-       A pre
-       vious
-       Line
-       So I am offering it for sale to the highest bidder
-       If you need help with how certain rhymes need to be pronounced to rhyme I’ll totally do that with you
-     If you need help with the imagery then please remember that the 'rock' and then the 'n' roll' are supposed to be metaphors for 'rock n' roll' 
-     I know that confuses some people
-       If you buy it you should totally rock it please
-       If I don’t feel that you think of her as a hole then no one will
-       And I wrote it
-       And thought about at least two or three ladies while I did
-       I don’t think ‘garage tolls’ exist but if you sell it people will believe it
-       Same with 'sky toll'
-       Although I think river toll is real
-       That’s one of the keys to rock ballads
-       Be fake yet with a huge nugget of truth
-       If you buy it I will consider you my roc
-       K
-       Please let me be you’re n’ roll

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