I wanted to, that’s why. I saw the banana peel on the ground and I thought to myself:
‘Hey, that banana peel could simply stay on the gross disgusting sticky floor.
It could deny my sanity a chance at redemption by being put into the peanut bowl with a lurid mission to creep out the next legally blind man who wants a peanut, knows where the peanut bowl is well enough to get his hand in it, knows that putting your hand in a peanut bowl is one of the best ways to acquire peanuts, and is probably not going to have a life threatening heart attack from discovering the banana peel instead of peanuts, an assumption which would be based on my knowledge of his general health, stress levels and family medical history and reliant on the fact that he knows where my peanut bowl is and wants peanuts, solid? Well it better be fucking solid, I’ll tell you that much’.
Once you have a thought like that your whole day is just guaranteed to be swell. All because of that banana peel. Thank you.