It’s recently been discovered by the medical community that when you have a song stuck in your head, and it’s an awesome song, and yet for some reason the song you have stuck in your head is not the awesome original but instead the shitty cover version, this is merely your brains way of saying 'that’s what you get for the time you filled me up with images of 'horses having sex because you thought it would be funny to ambush your friend with it, even though it meant you had to watch it yourself too!’
The lesson, obviously, is that living with skinny ankles is tough. As a skinnied ankler I've suffered all manner of horror, including, but not limited to, several minor ankle injuries, several times having someone say 'I never noticed how skinny your ankles were before' and several times realizing that the term 'cankles' while cruel and undesirable, will probably never be applied to me. That's SEVERAL severals damn it - and I'm not even a hundred percent sure on what that ultimately means mathematically, and I HATE math.
But the horror does not end there, although I wish it did, but get this, I don't think about my skinny ankles all the time, yes it's true, there are at least several hours a day when things other than my ankles are on my mind, that means there are people out there right now who potentially have skinny ankles who are not currently thinking about it, and if they're not thinking about it then as far as they are concerned they may be blissfully ignorant of horrible skinny ankle responsible horror coming their way - like not knowing why no one is naming them cankles.
But fear not, for I have already pissed around setting this silly thing up for far too fucking long, or maybe it just feels that way because I'm in a pub alone and not drinking and about to watch this stupid fucking famous horse race that I have no interest in, just so, I don't know, I don't not watch for the sake of not watching so I can be all lamely rebellious by avoiding the thing that everyone else is doing, so I'm watching even though I don't care and don't want to watch to be rebellious? I think I may officially be a tool. The point is, if a horse breaks it's leg they shoot it - having skinny ankles is tough.
And now signs you may have skinny ankles:
- People sometimes ask if they can borrow your leg to pick meat out from between their teeth.
- Sometimes you wake up and find your ankles being chewed on by beavers. Or even worse, while you were sleeping, the beavers have taken one of your legs away and you have to go rescue it from a beaver dam which can be especially frustrating if you’re in a rush to get to a meeting, and you live in a country with no beavers, so you have to fly to like Canada, grab your legs, and then jump in rush hour traffic, and then have to explain why you’re a few minutes late to your meeting, and instead of feeling sorry for you everyone is just impressed with the beavers ability to get your leg off without waking you, and their ability to travel super long distances without access to any modern aircraft technology.