Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Best Day Of My Life Initiative – Eight stranded scoundrels

 Hello everybody, how are you? I am going to get straight damn down tooting into it tonight – get this - today was the best day of my life! And you know why? Because it wasn’t the best day of my life - Ooooohhhh, oxymoronical, that’s awesome.

You know, it’s kind of like if you get stabbed, or should I say when you get stabbed, wait, no the first one was more positive right?

When you get stabbed it hurts, I assume, but it comes with benefits too, like you get to see what your insides look like – pretty gross I assume, maybe so gross that you pass out, or maybe you’ve already passed out from the pain or loss of blood, the point is you have options, and those are a form of investment, sort of like a share, although I never really understood exactly what they were, and I have an economics degree and worked for stock brokers for years, which I think just goes to prove that if you get stabbed you can learn valuable lessons like that even those who appear to be experts sometimes don’t know as much as you’d think.

I was thinking about this very fact earlier today, that no one really ever knows exactly what they are doing do they? Well maybe sometimes, but quite often not. The key is to pretend, like landscape gardeners who find a society of a rare bugs living under a statue of a small Italian boy, and are not exactly sure what to do about it, I mean is it wrong to pick up the statue of a small boy? So they call the Vatican to ask for advice, and it turns out the …..

We interrupt this post because I really don’t want to finish this analogy, it’s not where I thought it was going to go, it is no longer flawlessly illustrating the point I was hoping to make, and frankly, like much of what I have been working on today, in both my professional life, personal life, and mathematical life has left me with feelings of frustration and malaise. That’s a real word right? Malaise? Sounds like a food, but I don’t think it is.

See this is what happens when I DON’T wait until super stupid late into the night to write these – well I have learned my lesson, it is not bed time quite yet, but it is also not quite blogging time – I shall instead disappear for an hour or so, and actually relax and decompress for a while – oh fuck, I haven’t done that in days – I’ll come back soon…

Alright, I am back, and I feel pretty bloody good. Yep a little rest and relaxation is what I needed. The old R and the other one, R I think. In fact I now feel so good I think I could even nail an analogy without resorting to routine comedy premises, or underpants humor – ok here goes – today was the best day of my life, because although I faced some trials and annoyances, I didn’t let them beat me, and with a little positive energy that I chose fling at the problem, stimulated by my new mantra of making every day the best day of my life, I came out the other side quicker, cleaner and less slippery than even when I entered – it’s like…. Wait I can do this… um, slippery, entered, came, other side, stimulation, I’m getting the odd idea… wait I’ve got it! – It’s like when you throw a drenched pair of pants at a rambunctious mule, and when he catches them with his invisible magic horns and turns them into a rainbow of heroin filled water balloons, you can’t help but think about drawings of sheltered scoundrels of some sort (boom, snuck the title in at the last minute) perhaps even eight of them, as they evaporate into a collaborated furnishing finisher. Now THAT’S how you nail an analogy! Precise, clean, obvious and Ooooohhhh, oxymoronical, that’s awesome.

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