- Heroes now considered only third most likely thing to save a small child from a speeding train, after hole in the ground that no one saw, and ‘What? I think you’re mistaking me for someone else? I NEVER had a kid’.
- The words - ‘Hysterectomies’, ‘hysteria’ and ‘haste’ banned from being used in the same doctors surgery within the same seven-minute period unless said doctor is attempting to pull of a very detailed and elaborate practical joke, involving hysterical ideas, done quickly and the removal of… well you get the idea.
- Hey, it wasn’t me that made the rule ok!
- Wait that just reminds me of a joke I tried recently that got a female member the audience to yell out that she hates me. I didn’t mean it to be offensive, I just knew it WAS offensive, but having thought of it wanted to try it just in case it wasn’t.
- Nah, sorry, this blog is neither the time nor the place to repeat it; I just don’t want to get in trouble ok? Sorry.
- ‘Fandango’ overtakes ‘marzipan’ as the most fun word to say that no one truly knows the meaning of.
- Yes, unless YOU do. Show off.
- Don’t like treading on monkey shit? Experts say they now know a way to avoid it, find out more after the break.
- Simple don’t hang out in over crowded monkey jungles, with a poor waste management department due to organized crime, union action, infighting, lack of funds, lack of resources, lack of a well established hierarchy, excessive red tape, excessive sightseeing tours damaging the existing infrastructure, and excessive use of excuses of lack of things, or buy monkey shit repellent shoes. I mean duh.
- Yes the time between suggesting you find out after the break, and the answer, as seen immediately above damn well DID count as a break for it to accurately be described as ‘more after the break’.
Yes that’s right - It’s other exciting day of The Best Day Of My Life Significance:
David Tieck as David Tieck.
Dave Tieck as David Tieck’s alter ego Dave Tieck.
David Teak as David Tieck when spelled in a way to make sure people pronounce it right.
Deuvead Tuack as David Tieck when spelled in way to make sure people pronounce it wrong.
David Tieck as Dave Tieck’s alter ego David Tieck
David Tieck playing David Tieck, Dave Tieck, David Teak, Deuvead Teack and David Tieck
I am feeling humble today. It turns out that I don’t need to talk myself up anymore, although I want to get better at that, but mostly only having faith in myself rather than the actually talking myself up bit. But I was acting in a scene tonight for the webseries I am acting in at the moment. And it was a nice dramatic scene where I was supposed to be angry, and hurt, and sad, and contemplative, and passive aggressive, and use flawless grammar with no overuse of any words like ‘and’, oh and heartbroken, and just as we were about to do a take I couldn’t stop smiling, because the thought hit me ‘I’m doing it, I am actually pulling this off’. Sure the smiling ruined the internal truth of the experience resulting in less than great acting for a take, but the point is I now have a sense memory to think about next time I need to play someone self-important and self-satisfied. Yay me. The point is I’m maturing, becoming happier, and become more thoughtful of the world around me. I am liking the new me. And that’s why today was the best day of my life.
Ok, well that ties up any loose ends in this blog. Nothing more to say really. Nothing to add. Nothing to finish. Nothing I need to re-reference or wrap up. Yep, that’s totally it, as IT as it could be it, done. Finished. Bye everyb….
Ok fine I’ll tell the joke, but only because you begged me.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One! They do that shit themselves!
How many light bulbs does it take to change a feminist?
One! If it breaks inside her while she’s using it as a dildo.
Ok who hates me? Well I only told you the joke because I was begged, so, um there!
Ok, I deserve that abuse.
I’m going to retreat to my happy place
Fandango, fandango, fandango, fandango, fan…
In the end I think it was a mistake to be too lazy to use copy and paste to aid the writing of that last sentence. Lesson learned. Hey, I think that was the first time in ages that I learned a lesson of something you should or should not do. Yay. Milestones for sure!