- Heroes now considered only third most
likely thing to save a small child from a speeding train, after hole in the
ground that no one saw, and ‘What? I think you’re mistaking me for someone
else? I NEVER had a kid’.
- The words - ‘Hysterectomies’, ‘hysteria’
and ‘haste’ banned from being used in the same doctors surgery within the same
seven-minute period unless said doctor is attempting to pull of a very detailed
and elaborate practical joke, involving hysterical ideas, done quickly and the
removal of… well you get the idea.
- Hey, it wasn’t me that made the rule ok!
- Wait that just reminds me of a joke I
tried recently that got a female member the audience to yell out that she hates
me. I didn’t mean it to be offensive, I just knew it WAS offensive, but having
thought of it wanted to try it just in case it wasn’t.
- Nah, sorry, this blog is neither the time
nor the place to repeat it; I just don’t want to get in trouble ok? Sorry.
- ‘Fandango’ overtakes ‘marzipan’ as the
most fun word to say that no one truly knows the meaning of.
- Yes, unless YOU do. Show off.
- Don’t like treading on monkey shit? Experts
say they now know a way to avoid it, find out more after the break.
- Simple don’t hang out in over crowded
monkey jungles, with a poor waste management department due to organized crime,
union action, infighting, lack of funds, lack of resources, lack of a well
established hierarchy, excessive red tape, excessive sightseeing tours damaging
the existing infrastructure, and excessive use of excuses of lack of things, or
buy monkey shit repellent shoes. I mean duh.
- Yes the time between suggesting you find
out after the break, and the answer, as seen immediately above damn well DID
count as a break for it to accurately be described as ‘more after the break’.
Yes that’s right - It’s other exciting day
of The Best Day Of My Life Significance:
Featuring:
David Tieck as David Tieck.
Dave Tieck as David Tieck’s alter ego Dave
Tieck.
David Teak as David Tieck when spelled in a
way to make sure people pronounce it right.
Deuvead Tuack as David Tieck when spelled
in way to make sure people pronounce it wrong.
David Tieck as Dave Tieck’s alter ego David
Tieck
And
David Tieck playing David Tieck, Dave
Tieck, David Teak, Deuvead Teack and David Tieck
I am feeling humble today. It turns out
that I don’t need to talk myself up anymore, although I want to get better at
that, but mostly only having faith in myself rather than the actually talking
myself up bit. But I was acting in a scene tonight for the webseries I am
acting in at the moment. And it was a nice dramatic scene where I was supposed
to be angry, and hurt, and sad, and contemplative, and passive aggressive, and
use flawless grammar with no overuse of any words like ‘and’, oh and heartbroken,
and just as we were about to do a take I couldn’t stop smiling, because the
thought hit me ‘I’m doing it, I am actually pulling this off’. Sure the smiling
ruined the internal truth of the experience resulting in less than great acting
for a take, but the point is I now have a sense memory to think about next time
I need to play someone self-important and self-satisfied. Yay me. The point is
I’m maturing, becoming happier, and become more thoughtful of the world around
me. I am liking the new me. And that’s why today was the best day of my life.
Ok, well that ties up any loose ends in
this blog. Nothing more to say really. Nothing to add. Nothing to finish.
Nothing I need to re-reference or wrap up. Yep, that’s totally it, as IT as it
could be it, done. Finished. Bye everyb….
Ok fine I’ll tell the joke, but only
because you begged me.
How many feminists does it take to change a
light bulb?
One! They do that shit themselves!
How many light bulbs does it take to change
a feminist?
One! If it breaks inside her while she’s
using it as a dildo.
Ok who hates me? Well I only told you the
joke because I was begged, so, um there!
Ok, I deserve that abuse.
I’m going to retreat to my happy place
Fandango, fandango, fandango, fandango,
fan…
In the end I think it was a mistake to be
too lazy to use copy and paste to aid the writing of that last sentence. Lesson
learned. Hey, I think that was the first time in ages that I learned a lesson
of something you should or should not do. Yay. Milestones for sure!
No comments:
Post a Comment