Sunday, January 25, 2015

Award winning calamities

 Donkeys may often be the laughing stock of the animal kingdom, but I'll give them this - no other animals wear sombreros as well as they do.

Oh sure some people will tell you that a baby duck wears any hat well, especially traditional hats of proud people which have been commandeered as party hats by tequila drinking miscreant, which are often the most rambunctious of all the breeds of miscreants, but here is the thing, yeah sure baby ducks look good in any hat, but hat wearing is not just about looks, of course it’s not.

Hats are also about sun protection, and sombreros leave the end of a baby ducks bill catastrophically exposed to the sun. They’re just babies for fuck sake. And the ugly duckling may well have grown up to be a beautiful swan, but the duckling with the cancerous mole on it’s beak is the last to get a piece of bread in the pond by the old folks home, and there is so much sadness in the last sentence that I wouldn’t even know where to start deconstructing it into even deeper truth calamities.

Although I will tell you this, ever try to go on a jog with a baby duck in a sombrero? Well I have, and it fucking sucks. It’s always blowing off their heads, and then they have to waddle back and grab it, and then they end up covering way more steps than you do and win the award for best exerciser of the day at your club. I wanted that award damn it.

The point is that one food product which often gets falsely accused of having too many, or mysteriously sourced, animal stuffs in its make up is the humble delicious contraption known as sausage. One form of sausage us in Australia, among other delicious food loving nations, enjoy are sausage rolls.

For those who don’t know what these are, I’ll tell ya – it’s sausage meat, wrapped in pastry. Fuck yeah!!!

I was buying one today to eat for my food choice of that moment, because it was quick, because when you buy these they are typically sitting in a little oven box thing cooked and ready to eat right away. When you are in a rush this is awesome. Also when you are not in a rush it’s awesome, I’ll tell ya why – it’s sausage meat, wrapped in pastry. Fuck yeah!!!

Today though I was choosing it mostly for its speed qualities. But then something remarkable happened, as I took my sausage roll from the hands of the lady at the bakery, planning to eat on the run, she said something very unexpected and profound to me…. ‘Enjoy’.

That’s it. One word. A little word. Yet a word that says so much.

It stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t planned on enjoying it. I was just going to shove it into my fat face quickly and get back to work. But inspired by her words, I still shoved it quickly into my fat face, but I also savored the flavor, a tiny psychological change, with minimal effort, that made all the difference and contributed heartily to today being the best of my life.

Also this turned out to be a particularly nice sausage roll today, I don’t know why, maybe because it was sausage meat, wrapped in pastry. Fuck yeah!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment