I'll tell you something about silverware that not a lot of
people think about:
If you drop it to the bottom of the ocean and then come back in
fifty years and discover octopuses have evolved to the point of eating their
dinner to a human standard level of upper-class sophistication then that was
probably really, really good quality silverware.
I mean it didn't rust, possibly due to lack of oxygen just to
get all sciencey on you. It was able to turn octopuses into 'upper class'
sophistiphy, so there must have been at least three different types of fork,
possibly even one for salad, which means these octopuses must now be farming
lettuce, and with no oxygen, that's remarkable. Plus it's silverware, not
cutlery, which means it may well be made of silver, which is one of the most
valuable metals known to man. So valuable in fact that it's the only metal you
can hand someone and guarantee you know the exact thing the person you're
handing it to is thinking 'Pffftt, cheap asshole can't fork out for gold?' And
yet in this case it's literally forks, so that's irony, which is the world's
most valuable literary device. Yep, this is top-notch silverware for sure.
So why the hell did you drop it to the bottom of the ocean?
You've wasted fifty years of top of the line silverware enjoyment. You've got
to value your valuables people.
And I value my days, which is why today I'm currently enjoying
the best day of my life. I say you should do the same, I mean how long do we
even have before we're taken over by a merry band of super sophisticated
octopi??
This blog was brought to you by my desire to use the word
'octopi'. Octopi a fun word to say for all the family. Suitable for ages 3+
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