Best Day ever - teed up gooood

Today was the best day of life, and if you ask me, and you totally should because I have an answer teed up to go, people who jaywalk on a major roads in formal wear seem way more likely than those in casual wear, smart or otherwise, to get hit and killed by a car. 

I say this, because this evening I saw a couple in formalwear jaywalking. Then they got hit with a car. 

In my mind at least. 

Oh they got hit gooood too. The dudes little bow tie got stuck to the windshield with blood, one of the girls heels flattened a tire, almost as flat as the tire made her face, and their last words to each other were. 

'Let's run it'll be fun'
'Weee, we're better than all the other couples'
'Nothing bad will ever happen to us'
'We are lords of the universe!'

Then they got hit by the car. 

In my mind at least. 

Wait this has taken a dark turn somewhere. I think maybe when I mentioned the jaywalking? That is illegal. Or when I used the word 'teed' which is a golf reference and a sport often monopolized by rich stereotypical caricatures that make people 'caddy' their 'clubs', what's that all about? Or maybe it was the smart casual reference, if they're so smart why don't they wear comfortable shoes damn it! I don't know, it's a mystery. Hmmm, maybe it was when I said I had an answer but never really had a question? Or when I imagined them getting hit by the car? Nope. No idea. 

Wait wait wait wait, I totally got off track. Don't run through speeding traffic in hard to run in shoes people! It really freaks people watching out. 

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