The best day ever extravagance - False Bottom Consciousness

Hello everybody, today was the best day of my life, yeah it was, yeah it was. Ok, now I hate myself.

What’s that ‘yeah it was, yeah it was’ shit Dave?
It was just random positivity David.
But it’s lame Dave. It’s like lame street talk sounding stuff, at least in my head, the way I hear it Dave.
Well I say using the word lame is lame. Plus ‘street talk’? Where did you pull that term out from?
Yeah, that is pretty embarrassing, but I am just trying to be positive ok, that is what these best day of your life blogs are all about.
It’s supposed to be the best day of your life too, it’s not all me.
But I am you.
That’s sweet. I am you. It says it all really. Although it’s also really fucking weird.
No I just mean that I am you, like literally. We are the same person.
But there are two of us talking?
Is there? Or have we separated from one only to be one once more?
Ooohhh, profound. Profoundity even.
You’re welcome.
I love you Dave, wait, we stopped saying each other’s names after everything, I have forgotten, am I Dave or David?
It doesn’t matter.
Why not?
Because I am you.
Didn’t we already do the ‘because I am you bit’?
No that was ‘but I am you’ this is ‘because I am you’, they are different, subtly different, but different all the same.
Single tear.
No you don’t.
No I said it rather than producing it, it’s like the modern way of squeezing out a single tear, you’d know that if you knew street talk.


The above did not really happen. I mean it happened, but it didn’t really happen. I don’t want to reveal the false bottom in the bottom of the top hat, because I like you looking at the bunny, and you like looking at the bunny, and because how is a false bottom not still just a bottom? It’s down there, it sure aint up the top, it’s a real fucking bottom, maybe not the bottom bottom, but it could be if it wanted to, you know, but I will reveal the magic trick just this one time, and let you know, against all normal belief, that the above was merely a dramatization of what I think it would be like to have an argument with different sides of my consciousness.

Yep I was merely acting.

No, no, no, no applause needed. I will take a bow, but only because that is the tradition at the end of a performance, and I honor such conventions of the theatre. Also, you are probably looking back over the performance thinking ‘well it’s obvious now, that street stuff was lame, plus so was the use of the word lame, and the use of terms like street talk, yet in the moment it felt real, wait a minute, wow, that wasn’t just acting, that was kick ass acting!’

No, no, no, no applause needed. I did the above performance not to garner applause, no, no, no, no of course not. Applause is a symptom of the disease of great acting, it cannot be, nor has it ever been, the motivation for it.

I bring this all up because today I was at a barbeque and I was fortunate enough to talk about acting with some actors and it was lovely, and inspiring. I haven’t had enough of those conversations recently. Talking craft with a peer is one of the forgotten charms of caring about a craft. 

And I bring this up because it was within this conversation that I finally came to a career defining decision about my ongoing acting career – I have decided that if I was a superstar actor that would be even better than being a megastar actor, because superman is better than megaman, and therefore the word super is better than the word mega, unless you’re talking about like the super in your apartment building, which often isn’t a particularly revered career path, although I don’t think apartment buildings have megas, and therefore even in this scenario super outranks mega.


So am I going to one day be a superstar actor, probably not, but at least I know now what the ultimate goal is, and if that isn’t profoundity then I don’t know what is.

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