Best day exciting dirt

Yeah, I've been stuck in traffic before. It was an adventure I'll tell you that. 

We interrupt this exciting adventure to bring you this. 

The clean living guide to dirtiness - how dedicating your life to cleanliness leads to unexpectantly and unintentionally learning a lot about dirt. Like we meant to focus on the removal of dirt. Well we did focus on that. But it turns out that to remove dirt you need to know a lot about it. What color it is for example. Because it's hard to remove if you can't locate it. I can't tell you how many times people asked us to remove dirt and we've taken the job only to return it and have them say 'but the dirts still there' and then we've said 'where' and they've pointed at brown things and said 'there' and they've then heard us say 'oh, THATS, dirt'. Eventually we came to the conclusion that dirt is not in fact green. It should be, all the stuff that grows in it tends to be green, like trees, you know except the brown part of the trees. In hindsite when people said to us 'you did a great job with the grass stains' we shouldn't have replied with 'GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, WE DIDN'T TOUCH ANY RED SHIT, YOU SARCASTIC BASTARDS!!' 

We interrupt this exciting adventure to take you back to the original exciting adventure still in progress. 

Then once the fire was out, I was able to go to the hospital and get my hand reattached. It was the best day ever.