Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Rampant Sense Making

As part of my usual existence being an awesome guy, I occasionally encounter other people that are also awesome. I know! They're out there. 

For example I just overheard a guy talking to his friend say 'foaming at the mouth is kinda my thing'. 

That's badass. What a cool thing to have be your thing. It's like he's 'guy who gets so overwhelmed with rage that he foams at the mouth'. Awesome. 

Keep in mind he isn't 'guy who gets so overwhelmed with rage he gets violent'. 

And let's be honest, if you're so overwhelmed with rage that you're often getting violent your thing is never a minor liquid representation of that which occurs moments before you break someone's jaw. That's not how people's 'things' work. 

Like for example if a guys thing was 'guy who always flushes before he goes' he probably wouldn't be someone who also regularly removes the lids off toilets, takes them to convenience stores, and uses them to smash apart the slurpy machine hoping the flow will start coming out star shaped. 

Or if a girls thing was 'girl who's never been to a beach known for having an occasional issue with towel thieves' she's probably not also a famous Bonnie and Clyde style bank robber where in her case 'Clyde' is horse leg she's had surgically attached as a tail.

Or if a woman's thing was 'lady who loves to climb skyscrapers' she's probably not also a club footed, hunchback, webbed handed, lizard tongued, wheelchair bound, prime minister of a previously undemocratic military oil state, who was voted in after beating several frogs in a 'blending in with the lillypads' competition as judged by six former muscle car enthusiasts who have since taken up extreme fork balancing as their sport of choice, after one them discovered that metal that comes from the ground often has to be mined by someone, often requiring those employed to do such things to work outside major cities downtown central business districts, which is often where it's easiest to find a store that sells spatulas that are shaped like lightbulbs! 

No sir and/or madam, if that's your thing, that's your thing, and that's the middle and end of the story. 

So what's all you folks things? I'd like mine to one day be 'guy who regularly dominates the horticulture type dedication to wet and/or damp and/or dry solution based strangely rampant sense making' but for now I'm happy to merely remain 'awesome guy'. 

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