The fucking song

I like to think that if I had my own radio show dedicated to country hits of today and yesterday my show would be called 'Farm and Barn', and my theme song would go:

Don't reach out your arm
To cause harm 
Or set off alarms
That'll ruin calm
So instead use that arm 
To turn on the best darn 
Show called 'Farm and Barn'  

The only problems I can see with this plan are as follows:
- I don't currently have my own county radio show. 
- Let alone one that has country hits from today AND yesterday. 
- They rarely have theme songs for country radio shows. 
- I hate the thought of alienating people who enjoy causing harm.
- Or calm.
- 'Farm and Barn' would be a stupid name for show, only picked cause I like that those are both country sounding words that rhyme. 
- The song kind of suggests that this is merely the best show of all those called 'Farm and Barn'.
- Which is maybe fifty shows world wide tops.
- Best out of fifty is not a goal enticing enough to put in the work that would be required to be the best. 
- And it'd be uncouth to lie in song. 
- Farms and Barns are places that often have bad radio reception. 
- So is Guam. 
- Which is a rhyme that didn't even make the fucking song. 
- I hate the thought of alienating the armless. 

Other than that I'm set, so, yeah... Send me your job offers now! 

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