Totally Tastless

I think if you were ever going to pretend that one of your senses didn't work so that you could secretly listen in on lots of conversations, the best one to go with would be your sense of taste!

Think about it:

- It'd be easy to pull off because people hardly ever randomly microscope your tongue.
- You'd never get invited to dinner with friends so they'd feel free to say things knowing you're not around to hear them, conversations you could easily bug.
- You couldn't go on dinner dates and with zero social life you'd have time to listen to the tapes. 
- The tapes would be interesting because without eating yummy food for ages you'd lose weight so people would be talking about how slim and sexy you look. 
-  And by being all slim and sexy you'd get probably get to find out about all the awesome dates you could be getting if you weren't a no taste loser. 
-Even if someone did randomly microscope your tongue, that's not how you tell if someone can taste or not. 

Oh, so let me guess, you're thinking that if you want to secretly listen in on stuff then my plan is clearly awesome and flawless, but still why wouldn't you just pretend you couldn't hear, and therefore just listen in on people right in front of them?

False! 

Think about it:

- To pull off making people think you were deaf you'd have to speak like deaf people speak. 
- Which could be perceived as mocking.
- Get ready to have your mind blown...
- And mocking deaf people is totally .... TASTELESS!! 

Wow. 

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