I think that if I trekked to Lithuania on the back of a donkey with dreams of learning all there is to know about industrial sized scissors, but was forced to come home with my tail between my legs and hardly any more expertise on industrialized scissors than I'd arrived with, what I'd ultimately realize I actually ended up learning would be the following:
- Lithuania was a stupid place to go learn about scissors.
- Really, really stupid.
- What the hell was I thinking?
- I truly am a freaking moron.
- And scissors?
- No no no, 'industrial sized' scissors?
- For what, like cutting the hair of giants?
- Those aren't real you dick.
- Unless I counted like Shaq, but he's bald.
- Don't I ever research anything 'before' I jump in.
- I really am a freaking loser.
- They say 'all the gold goes to those who take all the risks' and I followed that, but such a stupid risk.
- And I bet I just fell for that too, that's not a real saying stupid.
- I truly am am a true moron in the truest form.
- Plus I hate to break it to you idiot, but Lithuania has airports, I didn't have to trek there on the back of a Donkey, I am a stupid dick. Did I really think they didn't have airports? Or roads for cars even? Frankly that's not just stupid, but insulting to the good Lithuanians who have built a perfectly modern and beautiful country that I've just shat all over.
- You stupid dick.
But I DIDN'T trek by donkey to Lithuania hoping to learn all I could about industrial sized scissors, so instead I now I feel pretty damn good about myself. Travel kicks ass!