Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Enthusiastic about Amazing

And now a conversation with a person who is very enthusiastic about using the word 'amazing'.


Hi, thanks for having me here this is amazing.

Ha, you said it already that's so cool.

Said what? 


Oh so that's all you care about, amazing, you think you meet someone that doesn't focus on the superficial stuff, but then amazingly I'm wrong again, you make me sick. 

You said it two more times! I love it.

You know I'm a person right? It might amaze you to know this but there is more to me than the word 'amazing', I'm also a professional graphic designer, I'm an enthusiastic paddle-boarder, I'm amazing at almost all board-games, in fact I thought that's why you'd invited me over, to play a game of 'Amazing' the new board game where you take amazing true facts and then share them with amazing new friends. 

Wow, I'm giddy, you keep saying it, you truly deliver what you promise. 

I'm extremely well travelled, I'm an amazing cook, I have an amazing sense of direction, amazingly I never get lost ever, I speak three languages and you might be amazed to hear none of them are French or Spanish, I own a small company that makes amazing and unique pillow cases, which I amazingly design myself, I am an amazing conversationalist, you'd be amazed at how many topics I can have deep and intellectual discussions on, I have amazing friends and colleagues, amazingly I'm
single, but amazing men ask me out regularly, I'm amazingly well read, I have an amazing skill where name a word and I can instantly tell you how many letters is in it, I was once given a years worth of free guacamole at my local burrito place for amazingly being their ten thousandth customer, you'd be amazed how many things there are interesting about me, I'm not just the word 'amazing'. 

SIXTEEN! Sixteen times in one long soliloquy, I love it, I've never been happier, this is the best day ever. 

(Shakes head) amazing. You know what? Fuck off! (Storms out). 

Well, how good was that, right? So fascinating, she just loves that word. Man, I'm jealous, I wish I had just one weird unique thing about me as fascinating as that, that everyone thought was cool about me, maybe then less people would tell me to fuck off? I might go with - guy who's really good at listening - I think I could be good at that.   

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