Ghurg, a visiter from Frhjkeerger, in the skyslu Galaxy a couple of light years east of the Milky Way, was catching a suburban train in Sydney for the first time since he arrived on earth.
'Meh' he thought 'not as bad as everyone suggested it would be'.
Just then his hyropin gland, or his 'neck dick' as teenage humans seemed to like calling it, excreted around three liters of Dguop fluid, a thick purple grey, gluey textured type substance, all over the lady sitting next to him.
'Meh' she thought 'still not as bad as the time when the pit sweat guy grabbed my ass and then wet sneezed in my face'.
The two of them are now married with a teenage kid named Dennisaghtl, he's a hit with the ladies too, just had his hyropin sucked off by a girl for the first time.
Unfortunately this was not something he desired, in fact it was so painful he sprayed her with his Bydhdj laser, turning her into a statue of a frog tonguing a poisonous spider.
'Meh' she thought 'at least now my mum will have to drive me to school, that means no more public transport, who hoo!'
Pit sweat guy went on to choke to death while trying to pronounce everything in this story.
So it was pretty much happy endings all around. Awww.