Monday, November 2, 2015

One in each

If you ask me, and you should, anytime you see a guy holding a wrench in one hand and a screwdriver in the other, marching steadfast and angrily towards a factory being overwhelmed by a grease fire, you can probably make at least three of these ten conclusions, possibly even four:

1. He was actually checking the tool box for a plunger, but he's not a guy who gives up a job just cause it's about to get dirty.
2. He's in the middle of an epic fight with an inside-out robot, and he's just got the upper hand! 
3. He's about to eat steak, and he's not concerned whether or not it's still in the cow. 
4. Beth in accounting has definitely been taking advantage of her petty cash privileges, but that petty cash box lock is about to get slightly tighter! 
5. Maybe this whole time we've had it wrong, and fire actually rules the world, and if that's true, as water drinkers, water floaters on, and water based internal and possibly external parts, humans are mere foot-soldiers of the rulers archenemy, and maybe, if the word 'maybe' appears this many times in one sentence then maybe that's awesome. 
6. Crime rates in New York City may have diminished in the past dozen years, but doesn't that just mean perhaps the criminals moved to Idaho, and that if you live there shouldn't you stop wearing your gold bars as sandals? 
8. If a man was lying in the middle of the road and said 'trust me, I like it here' and then you pick him up and carry him over to the sidewalk, and he says 'I will never trust you again' isn't he really the one with trust issues, and possibly 'choosing places to lie down' issues, and perhaps even dirty clothes issues? 
9. He's about to beat that fire black and blue. 
10. He wasn't paying attention at ALL on 'what to do in case of a grease fire' day at factory school. 

Which of the three, possibly even four conclusions you could make? I have no god damn idea. I sure as hell didn't say you should ask me that. 

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