Monday, November 2, 2015

So farm

I'd like one day for some one to say... 

'Dave, man that guys FARM, like he's not a farmer, I'm not saying that at all, I mean just look at him, his face is barely worn out and leathery, he's got  the build of someone who's never done a day of physical work in his life and even if he did he wouldn't ever look good, and I know he hates mornings like toucans hate beak rot, which is not like a death sentence for them, but does require lots of trips to their equivalent to a dentist, and normally that's some jungle monkey, and they're so unreliable, I saw the turn out at piranha dissection day, barely 78%, and you know some of those monkeys still passed, so I'm not saying that guys a farmer, I'm saying that guys FARM, he's valuable like a big patch of dirt, if people stood on him they'd totally wear hats, and like I could see tractor being on him one day, which would be badass, I mean it would be painful, but tractors have got to be one of the best one tonne or heavier vehicle or other mode of transportation devices, EVER to have on you, way better than say a naval destroyer, because then you'd have a whole pile of sailers saying things like 'you alright man', 'whoops', and possibly even 'woah, dang, that looks like it'd have hurt' and you don't want that, NO ONE would ever want that, who wants a tonne of attention right at the time you've just had a tonne or more of transportation device on you, with a tractor no one even notices you were under there because of the noise, plus you'd get to see what your arm would look like sticking out of a hay bale, you could even shake your OWN hand, I mean it would be an awkward hand shake, especially if  the hand that was removed was on the right arm, and now you no longer have a right hand to shake it, so you'd have to do one of those backwards left handed shakes, which no one likes, just don't shake, why do people feel they need to shake all the time, then again you'd get to tell people in the future that you lost your arm to a piranha attack at that a monkey puked when he found a finger in its belly at dissection class, and that's a badass story!' 

Yep, one day I want someone to say 'that guys FARM, having goals in life... yep just ace. 

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