If you ask me he'll achieve it too

Harry had always wanted to deregulate the beautician industry. 

He wasn't sure why.

But he was sure why he wasn't sure why, because:

- he wasn't a beautician 

- he didn't work in the beautician industry 

- he didn't know any beauticians 

- he wasn't interested in meeting any beauticians 

- he wasn't interested in learning about what beauticians do

- he thought the word 'beautician' sounded harsh and unpleasant

- like clinical and possibly even medical

- if it was medical he didn't want to get what ever disease you'd have to get to require getting beauticianed

- and how would they even inform you that you needed it?

- 'we've looked at your test results, do you have a will?'

- that just sounds horrible

- and he found horrible sounding things unpleasant 

- and feeling unpleasant fed into his bitter distaste of the apple picking 'for fun' movement.

- because it often involved whistling, humming, and other mouth noises occasionally associated with enjoyment

- which reminded him of the fact that as a small boy his father was whistling when he chopped down the tree that he had once coveted building a tree house in

- and in that tree house he was planning on one day cutting open the dead baby hawk that he had found behind the school playground 

- and was keeping fresh in the home freezer in a tuppaware labeled 'moms casserole'

- something no one wanted to eat

- because mom had run off with the paperboy seventeen years earlier 

- so this would have to be REALLY old casserole 

- plus it wasn't in there for the first sixteen years she was gone 

- so it might even be a tad moldy 

- plus the paper boy still delivered the paper with a daily wad of spit on the main headline 

- he was the one who stole a married women, why was he pissed off?

- and so now because of these fucking beauticians Harry didn't acquire tree house building skills, doesn't know what the inside of a baby hawk looks like, and associates even the happiest of news headlines with phlegm

- which is another word he finds harsh and unpleasant

- because it was a throat full of phlegm that kept him from picking apples for fun that one time

- meaning he had to get paid for it instead 

- a job he's now held for twelve years and finds mildly unpleasant in stormy weather 

- because when there's thunder he can't hear himself whistle 

- and also he didn't know what 'deregulation' means 

But 'at least I have a goal' he'd think. 

And isn't that really what life is all about?