Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Wow, what a deal

Something about me that you may not know is that I'm NOT an angry guy. In fact for the most part I am completely devoid of emotion. I used all my emotions up in the 80s making fluorescent shoelaces out of them, which I'd have sold for a buck a lace had I been good at making them, so it was totally worth it. 

Sure I kept some emotions frozen in jars to use at a later date. I'm not a crazy person. And frankly I resent the accusation. And the fact you just made me defrost and crack open a jar of resentment to express that right now is really frustrating, and wow, thanks, that was my last jar of frustration. Now I'll never feel that again, do you know how much that leaves me feeling calm and neutral? 


The problem of course is that I STILL somehow hold lots of grudges! But maybe I wouldn't hold grudges so often if just occasionally they weren't so soft, snuggly, cuddly, smuggly and totally smelling of delicious vanilla! 

The point is STILL fuck you grudges. 

The end. 

Today's blog brought to you by 'that'll do', earths great solution to the question 'it's not very good, are you sure you don't want to work more on this'? Buy a satchel of 'that'll do' today, and as a bonus, if you buy in the next hour we'll throw in a free fluorescent shoe lace made from a pre-pubescent boys overflowing emotions. 

Wow, what a deal. 

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