My energy and emotional state is a tad ‘mah’ today, which
admittedly is better than ‘meh’, and way better than ‘muh’, but no where near
as good as ‘moh’, and even further from my ultimate goal of ‘m(is there a vowel
I haven’t used yet? Oh wait i)h.
And I’ll tell you why, because I just realized that if I owned a
big Transylvanian monk made lavender scented beaver fur brown hat shaped like
the map of Texas, the absolutely ONLY things that I wouldn’t like about it
would be that:
- I have a small head, so big hats rarely fit me
well.
-
Transylvania scares me (because I can never
find it on maps), and this hat would possibly remind me of Transylvania.
-
Monks weird me out, I mean how do they keep
their hair so short all the time? They don’t have clippers in monasteries on
top of mountains that were built and have remained unchanged since 1648!
-
Lavender is a better color than scent, WAY
better!
-
Beavers are cuter alive than skinned.
-
Brown is a really boring color; perhaps the
world’s MOST boring color. Except for maybe grey, but ain’t no one EVER going
to make a grey hat, EVER!
-
Texas isn’t an appropriate shape for a hat.
Not that Texas is a BAD shape, not in general, in some ways it’s an enticing
shape, but it’s just not practical for head wear.
-
Also I’m personally NOT Texan, and you should
only wear hats shaped of places you are legitimately from. That’s why
traditional baseball caps are shaped the way America was shaped before a Bond
villain went back in time and eradicated the state of West Californazia and our
memory of it, and arching of massive land banks period.
-
Oh and why are monks even making hats? You
spend all that time cultivating a uniform hairstyle and then build something to
cover it up? That’s just dumb.
So other than those things, I would totally like said hat. And yet I do NOT own a big Transylvanian
monk made lavender scented beaver fur brown hat shaped like the map of Texas, despite
them being a perfect gift. And it was my birthday last week too. Oh man, I’m so
mah. At least I have long luscious hair, suck on that monks! Now if I can just find one to make it jealous I'll totally be mih.
No comments:
Post a Comment