The jeannie is out of the bottle and she has a whole lot of being cooped up to shake from her noggin' so she's gonna dance till the caps of the highest knees touch the ice crisp sky

Oh, hey, um, I just saw you look down, are you noticing that my jeans have holes in them?

It's not what you think…

Like I am not trying to be cool or anything…

It's just that, well, I hate to admit this, but I got the holes today just because…

Well I got into a fight with a dog today...

And and and, you know, I hate physical fights; you know that, so obviously I had to make it a verbal fight…

Obviously...

And that is always difficult for me, because I only have strong to very-strong opinions on around 17.2% of issues that affect dogs personally. So finding an issue in which we both have strong-very strong opinions on, and one which those views are opposing, can be a tad difficult….

You know?

Like this one time tried to get into a verbal argument with a Collie named Simon, on leash politics, which we both agreed we had at least strong-very strong opions on, and so a verbal fight seemed certain, but we ended up being SO in agreement that we instead became friends, and even later mutually found an online profile for the greens keeper of a local 'leash only' park, and we trolled him so bad, that he eventually volunteered to spend three weeks in summer dominatrix camp to try and learn our point of view…

Which I guess was a positive outcome, yet we later felt so guilty about our methods that now we struggle to even like each other's instagram posts without following it up by liking a bunch of posts by our favorite charities to ease our guilt…

Today, however, I had none of those issues with Hannah, the Blue Heeler, as we had issues with each other immediately…

Strong-very strong issues even…

Like, for example, I was adamant that seeing as I had learned a conversational level of barking, that she should have learned more English, and she was adamant that ‘roof, roof, roof, roof’. Which I found childish and maybe even in poor taste, given recent newspaper articles on hurricane relief issues in some poor Caribbean nations, but then she pointed out that ‘bark’, and I had to agree that if you make most of your roofs out of bark then you are asking for trouble…

But that still didn’t make it ok to joke about…

So this of course, of course, opened us up for some long and passionate debate and discourse about the socio-economic struggles facing third world nations, and despite neither of us agreeing on the right methods or action plans that should be implemented to achieve what we felt were fair and necessary results for both rich and poor nations, we DID both agree that at the core of the issue was the first-worlds responsibility in lifting the ‘glass ceilings’ so to speak, to which Hannah added ‘roof’ and we both laughed and laughed…

In fact we laughed so hard that certain well placed sections of my jeans just evaporated. So now they have holes in them. I guess that’s science for you. You know? Anyway, I look cool now, wanna be in my band?

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