Oh, hey, um, I just saw you look down,
are you noticing that my jeans have holes in them?
It's not what you think…
Like I am not trying to be cool or
anything…
It's just that, well, I hate to admit
this, but I got the holes today just because…
Well I got into a fight with a dog
today...
And and and, you know, I hate physical
fights; you know that, so obviously I
had to make it a verbal fight…
Obviously...
And that is always difficult for me,
because I only have strong to very-strong opinions on around 17.2% of issues
that affect dogs personally. So finding an issue in which we both have
strong-very strong opinions on, and one which those views are opposing, can be
a tad difficult….
You know?
Like this one time tried to get into a
verbal argument with a Collie named Simon, on leash politics, which we both
agreed we had at least strong-very strong opions on, and so a verbal fight
seemed certain, but we ended up being SO in agreement that we instead became
friends, and even later mutually found an online profile for the greens keeper
of a local 'leash only' park, and we trolled him so bad, that he eventually
volunteered to spend three weeks in summer dominatrix camp to try and learn our
point of view…
Which I guess was a positive outcome, yet we later felt so guilty about our
methods that now we struggle to even like each other's instagram posts without
following it up by liking a bunch of posts by our favorite charities to ease
our guilt…
Today, however, I had none of those
issues with Hannah, the Blue Heeler, as we had issues with each other
immediately…
Strong-very strong issues even…
Like, for example, I was adamant that
seeing as I had learned a conversational level of barking, that she should have
learned more English, and she was adamant that ‘roof, roof, roof, roof’. Which
I found childish and maybe even in poor taste, given recent newspaper articles
on hurricane relief issues in some poor Caribbean nations, but then she pointed
out that ‘bark’, and I had to agree that if you make most of your roofs out of
bark then you are asking for trouble…
But that still didn’t make it ok to
joke about…
So this of course, of course, opened us up for some long and passionate
debate and discourse about the socio-economic struggles facing third world
nations, and despite neither of us agreeing on the right methods or action
plans that should be implemented to achieve what we felt were fair and
necessary results for both rich and poor nations, we DID both agree that at the
core of the issue was the first-worlds responsibility in lifting the ‘glass
ceilings’ so to speak, to which Hannah added ‘roof’ and we both laughed and
laughed…
In fact we laughed so hard that certain
well placed sections of my jeans just evaporated. So now they have holes in them.
I guess that’s science for you. You know? Anyway, I look cool now, wanna be in
my band?
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