Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Get yourself armed, because here comes a fully loaded fun at home attack!

Today was a fun day. Why? I’ll tell you why damn it – Arms! And more specifically crossing arms.

Can crossing arms be fun? Hell Yeah it can.

Consider this: Most of the time your arms are NOT crossed. This means that once crossed you’ll have entered a unique and novel activity. And novels themselves are a form of entertainment, a good form of entertainment. So you’re in good company, and good company is one of the best ways to starve off loneliness – but so is starving of course, especially if you starve your way ALL THE WAY if you know what I mean?
Wow that just got dark. Must be because crossing your arms is a way of being defensive, and defense is the best form of attack, so we’re still winning the fuck out of this!

But it gets better. Consider also this: Some of the time your arms ARE crossed. That makes it a familiar and therefore comforting muscle memory – and memories are some of our best tools for recollection of good times! Times like eating your first blade of grass as a knock-kneed school boy or girl on the school yard or meter, and then chucking it up on your stable-kneed school desk and yelling “I’m a sick kitty, but now the grass is out, OUT you damn fool, and don’t you ever return, not until you’ve learned a thing or two, you got that. And it better be the RIGHT thing or two. Don’t you DARE come into my presence knowing a new thing or two if that thing and it’s friend aren’t PROFOUNDLY on point! You got that?” Yes sweet, sweet memories. And comfort is nice also. That’s all. And why should it be any more than that? Comfort speaks for itself. It doesn’t need to be defended, expanded upon, nor gazed backwards towards nostalgically. Comfort is strong. Stone walled. Rock faced. And plaster bellied. It needs not help, nor does it offer help. It is there. And that’s enough for it. And if you think different then get OUT you damn fool! I know the thing or two that YOU learned, and frankly we can do without it! Event the papier-mâché soul of comfort knows that!

Consider also this too: That’s right – Crossing Arms – officially declared FUN!

Woo hoo.

“You’ve been funned!”

Or maybe

“Take that, you’ve been fun attacked!”

Or “Fun At Home, it’s now in your loan sharks, um, fuck”.

Trust me, a brilliant, awesome, noteworthy yet insightful brand new badass catch phrase for these little truth explosions is COMING SOON!

Let’s hope at least.

Seeing as we’re hoping, why don’t we all just help it along by crossing our… ARMS!
Did you think I was going to say fingers? If so, wow. Seriously wow. What a world we live in. Think of all the things currently dangling off your shoulders than can be crossed, arms, fingers, it’s practically endless.

“Now you’re DEFINITELY in fun town!” (I’ll do better on catch phrases soon I swear).

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