Thursday, March 26, 2020

Have an absolute ball with this!

Today was a fun day. Damn fun. Fun to the full extent of the law fun.  Fun high up in the ivory towers at the top end of the deepest part of the deep end fun.

Wanna know why?

Yeah you do.

Paper. That’s right. I said it. Paper. Yeah paper. Got that. Paper. Cause paper is FUN gone nag it! 

“How is paper fun?” I hear you ask. Well I’ll even tell you that. Because I’m a nice guy. And also because that’s the whole point of these little blogs I’ve started writing.

Here’s why: Because there are fun things you can DO with paper. Lot’s of them. Possibly as many as a full handful of things. Depending on the size of your hand. Your current hand grip strength. And your personal hand packing skills.

Consider these awesome and yet also fun things you can do with paper that you probably never considered before.

Doodling: Now I know what you’re thinking, “doodling… on… paper? But I have always doodled on walls, in fresh cement, on my skin, on drunk friend’s skin, on Academy awards that my friends leave lying around their homes, on the underbelly of those who exist in the underbelly of societies bellys, by the way, why underbelly? There is no overbelly. Or even upperbelly. Only underbelly. Just call it a belly and be done with it! Right?” And yes you ARE right. Damn right. The overbelly is a back, and no one lives on the “back” of society. So let’s stop all this belly shame. Plus also, yes, you can also doodle on paper! Wow. That’s fun.

It gets even more exciting: There is more than one thing you can doodle onto said paper. Possibly a whole foot full. If you could ball up your foot and had great ability to foot grip. Which now that I think about it, is a skill we should be all working on right now. Regardless of your ability to ball up your foot though, there are lots of things you can doodle. I reckon possibly as many as a dozen!

In fact I reckon if I tried really, really hard I could name as many as eight things you can doodle in just eight minutes. Here I go. Feel free to put the stopwatch on and time me as you read.

One… Um – umbrellas!

Two… Um Um. Hmmm. Underpants!

Three…Fuck, um. Umbrage!

Four... Underage axolotls!

Five…Undertakers that are taken for granted, but NEVER taken for ride when it comes to getting the best deal on their new car!

Six… Um. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

Ok I’m sure those of you timing at home noticed that I’m well over eight minutes, nearly nine depending on exactly when you hit the start button. But the point remains the same. If you want to use your paper to doodle, there are at least five now PROVEN different things you can doodle, and possibly as many as a dozen! See how many you can do!
Speaking of how many: Here’s a fun paper game - See how many paper cuts you can give yourself in an hour. Then... try and BREAK that record!
Speaking of cuts: Imagine just how nuts the first person was who saw a tree, and thought, “I could cut that down and make paper out of it”. A tree looks NOTHING like paper. But they were right.
Speaking of nuts: Yum. Plus full of protein!
Yep that’s right, there right there is a full balled up handful of things you can do with paper that you probably never thought of before. Have yourself some paper fun TODAY!

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