The Best Day of my Life initiative – I didn’t expect that

Hello everybody, today was the best day of my life. Now normally I write that and then I poetically wax lyrical in beautiful detail about why it is that this day was in fact the best day of my life. But living everyday as if it is the best day of your life isn’t all about looking backwards. Oh no, of course not. How could it possibly be?

It’s about living in the now of course.

But it’s also about looking forward to the future.

Well it’s mostly about living in the now, and realizing that every thing that has ever happened in your life, every thought, action, idea, journey, experiment, hope, gift, smell, they have all led to this exact moment, so why not treat it as if it is the best moment of your life. It ALL led to this.

But it’s also about looking forward to the future.

Because that’s what I thought would be fun to write about right now.

Nope I can’t do it. I am stuck in the rabbit hole of thinking of the now. I keep trying to let my brain go out on one of it’s flights of fancy, as inspired by my experiences of the best day of my life, yet not necessarily literally about that, but right now I am stuck on right now and right now I am writing here on my laptop.

Let’s explore Dave, what are you trying to avoid. Let’s talk it out:

-       I feel like I should go to bed soon, not that I am tired, or have any particular reason why I should be going to bed.

-       I need to brush my teeth.

-       I wish for a beverage.

-       I’m upset at myself, or frustrated at least, that this is the direction my blog is going in today.

-       I am upset with myself for being upset with myself over this.

-       Just be real Dave, it’s ok.

-       Yes, but I want to be creative, I love flights of fantasy. That’s joy to me. That’s why this stuff is the best day of my life. I don’t want to be real.

-       It’s ok David, it is.

-       Yeah, but, it’s not what I wanted to do today.

-       It doesn’t matter, be real, it’s good for you.

-       I shouldn’t have put this in point form. I should have made this dialogue.

-       Let it go.

-       No.

-       Yes.

-       Really?

-       It’s ok, it’s ok.

-       It doesn’t feel ok.

-       If it’s not ok then how can it be the best day of your life?

-       You sneaky motherfucker.

-       Is it ‘flight of fancy’ or ‘flight of fantasy’?

-       It’s whatever you want it to be. Everything is.

The preeminent day ever exploration - sparkling zingaling

A whale and a crow walk into a bar, the barman says 'hey, get out I need a whale in here like I need a hole in the head'. The whale says 'alright I'm gonna kill this guy' and the crow says 'please don't start anything I've got a murder to get home too' - ZING!

The above joke, apart from being witty, smart and down right brilliantly crafted, says a lot of things to me:

- There is still far too much violence in bars. That's sad.

- I mean anyone should be welcome anywhere, not being allowed places is sad.

- Yeah, no that’s fair. There is no reason a bar should have to keep seed or worms for a crow to eat, nor should they have to keep wet sponges around for a whale to keep itself moist. But still, let them come in for a minute. If they don’t like what you have to sell that’s their problem.

- Why shouldn’t they want to buy what you have to sell? They might like beer if they try it. Buffalo Wings too. This is a modern world, and animals, like humans, are diversifying their culinary needs and desires.

- Today was the best day of my life.

- Hey this is a talking whale and crow, so yeah, I think we can be pretty confident they know what the word ‘culinary’ means.

- Of course they could be friends. What are you some sort of speciestist?

- Who am I arguing with anyway?

- I wonder I’m being affected in any negative ways by this weird hole I have in my head?

- Violence is sad. They shouldn’t have it in bars.

So yeah, freaking kick ass joke that. I give it three gold stars, that's like more stars than anyone has gotten ever. Even more gold stars than even Steven Hawking’s ever been given, and he invented stars! ZING!

Best day ever solution reanimation

Tonight was an awesome final performance of our play, and it was awesome! This makes me much happy.

This alone would comfortably make today the best day of my life, but I've got another reason too - I’ve discovered a new life goal.

My new life goal: Create a problem where the only possible solution is to assemble a team of seven amorous self aware automated robotic elephants reprogrammed to groom the beards of elves reanimated from scared minute apocalyptic sandwich consumption.

It would be awesome right? Cause then when that problem comes up it'd be like:

'Oh my god we have this very specific problem'.

'Oh no, what do we do??'

 'Wait, I know this one, we simply need to assemble a team of seven amorous self aware automated robotic elephants reprogrammed to groom the beards of elves reanimated from scared minute apocalyptic sandwich consumption’.

‘Yay, we’re saved’.

Yeah that'd be sweet. Now I just have to come up with a specific problem that this solution would be solve?

Meh, someone else can come up with that, problems are easy to come up with - it's the people that come up with solutions to problems that change the world!

Award winning calamities

 Donkeys may often be the laughing stock of the animal kingdom, but I'll give them this - no other animals wear sombreros as well as they do.

Oh sure some people will tell you that a baby duck wears any hat well, especially traditional hats of proud people which have been commandeered as party hats by tequila drinking miscreant, which are often the most rambunctious of all the breeds of miscreants, but here is the thing, yeah sure baby ducks look good in any hat, but hat wearing is not just about looks, of course it’s not.

Hats are also about sun protection, and sombreros leave the end of a baby ducks bill catastrophically exposed to the sun. They’re just babies for fuck sake. And the ugly duckling may well have grown up to be a beautiful swan, but the duckling with the cancerous mole on it’s beak is the last to get a piece of bread in the pond by the old folks home, and there is so much sadness in the last sentence that I wouldn’t even know where to start deconstructing it into even deeper truth calamities.

Although I will tell you this, ever try to go on a jog with a baby duck in a sombrero? Well I have, and it fucking sucks. It’s always blowing off their heads, and then they have to waddle back and grab it, and then they end up covering way more steps than you do and win the award for best exerciser of the day at your club. I wanted that award damn it.

The point is that one food product which often gets falsely accused of having too many, or mysteriously sourced, animal stuffs in its make up is the humble delicious contraption known as sausage. One form of sausage us in Australia, among other delicious food loving nations, enjoy are sausage rolls.

For those who don’t know what these are, I’ll tell ya – it’s sausage meat, wrapped in pastry. Fuck yeah!!!

I was buying one today to eat for my food choice of that moment, because it was quick, because when you buy these they are typically sitting in a little oven box thing cooked and ready to eat right away. When you are in a rush this is awesome. Also when you are not in a rush it’s awesome, I’ll tell ya why – it’s sausage meat, wrapped in pastry. Fuck yeah!!!

Today though I was choosing it mostly for its speed qualities. But then something remarkable happened, as I took my sausage roll from the hands of the lady at the bakery, planning to eat on the run, she said something very unexpected and profound to me…. ‘Enjoy’.

That’s it. One word. A little word. Yet a word that says so much.

It stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t planned on enjoying it. I was just going to shove it into my fat face quickly and get back to work. But inspired by her words, I still shoved it quickly into my fat face, but I also savored the flavor, a tiny psychological change, with minimal effort, that made all the difference and contributed heartily to today being the best of my life.

Also this turned out to be a particularly nice sausage roll today, I don’t know why, maybe because it was sausage meat, wrapped in pastry. Fuck yeah!!!