In sad news this week, Ok, intriguing: Hell Yeah! has lost its Faith. It's literal Faith. Yes the beautiful Faith Willman will be at a wedding this Friday, and for our first time having to deal with a loss of Faith, the magical questionnaire this week is all about loss of faith.
What's something you've had faith in at some point of your life and lost?
Something I have faith in right now is ____________? Because _____________
One thing that should never be given for a prize is ______________
Come check out the show, we will probably have a very special guest co-host, and intriguing stuff, and hell yeah stuff, all the good dealies :)
6pm California time Friday, Noon Sydney Saturday (I think), 9pm NYC time Friday
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/ok-intriguing-hell-yeah
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Look at me, I'm naked
Apparently as I a small child I simply adored getting naked. Any chance I could get, especially in public, off came the clothes and out came the pee pee, and then I'd run around like a drunk who had lit himself on fire.
I don't have much memory of this. On the other hand I believe the earliest memory I have of life is sitting on the potty next to someone else sitting on the potty with myself boasting that I could pee out of my bum.
Basically I was a diarrhea prone show off with a solid desire for exhibitionism from the get go.
I guess little has changed :)
I don't have much memory of this. On the other hand I believe the earliest memory I have of life is sitting on the potty next to someone else sitting on the potty with myself boasting that I could pee out of my bum.
Basically I was a diarrhea prone show off with a solid desire for exhibitionism from the get go.
I guess little has changed :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Listen to this please
Most history books don't cover this, which is a shame on the historical community, but before mufflers were officially muffled they were actually some of the biggest talkers in the world.
A muffler once gave a speech in Ancient Rome that went for a hundred and twelve hours and with out a single toilet break, by the end he was merely listing things he knew could never fight each other in the Colosseum and yet he would like to fight regardless. This included a midget fighting a Slumper (an ancient cutlery devise used to pry the meat off the pig as it roasted over the fire - they stopped using them when they realized that sixteen prongs really was over-kill) and also an obese man fighting a hippopotamus (at that time the obese were primarly fed to lions to give them the taste for human flesh).
Another time a Muffler was asked for directions to the post office and the poor lost fellow was subjected to detailed directions but also a concise bio of the architect of the building and a dictation of the history of the postal services (this last bit wasn't so long given that the concept of delivering mail had only been invented a few days earlier). The man also was told just how builders went about constructing the huge columns they put in front of buildings. This information was of course lost when mufflers were muffled and then cruelly attached to the bottom of cars, not only ruining a great species and the only living talking metal species, but also rendering most buildings column-less and boring.
Mufflers unfortunately on the other hand (a term mufflers despised seeing as they had no hands) were not just wells of information, they were also vicious liars and rumor mongers (amongst the many lies mufflers told over the years was that they coined the word monger when in fact it was actually coined by a small Peruvian boy while trying to order Mongolian Bbq take out).
Mufflers were responsible for some of the worst rumors and lies ever told
- it was after a Muffler told an Englishman that rats were fun to lick that the black plague broke out
- it was a muffler who started the rumor that women were allowed to say no to sex leading men to start seeking world power, and you know starting all those war dealies
- Jesus? You better believe that was a another Muffler rumor (Buddha on the hand was real. His rise to spiritual leader was inspired by the fact a lion had refused to eat him, making people think he was magic. His jolliness on the other hand, yep, you guessed it - merely a muffler rumor. He was actually a sadistic serial killer and his justifications about reincarnation at the time were considered silly in the way 'the dog told me to do it' is joked about today.
One rumor never attributed to the Mufflers, yet one I personally suspect were all over it (I was going to say had their finger prints all over it, they don't have hands David! Ha ha, sometimes you can be silly) was the rumor that you can wish upon a star - this is NOT FUCKING TRUE. Ever since this rumor was begun wishes have gone wasted on non-wish granting entities and this is just the kind of evilness that was at the very heart of the Muffler rumor mongering society.
The point is with electric cars becoming more and more the rage we have reached a time in the world where Mufflers may no longer be part of the auto-community and therefore Mufflers may be freed from their muffling and you better believe they are going to have a lot to say, and if you only listen to one thing this week, listen to this - don't listen to the mufflers, they're often really, really mumbly and that can be annoying to listen to.
Ps - did you listen to that? Awesomenessous - It's hard to hear the written word - I'm super proud of you :)
A muffler once gave a speech in Ancient Rome that went for a hundred and twelve hours and with out a single toilet break, by the end he was merely listing things he knew could never fight each other in the Colosseum and yet he would like to fight regardless. This included a midget fighting a Slumper (an ancient cutlery devise used to pry the meat off the pig as it roasted over the fire - they stopped using them when they realized that sixteen prongs really was over-kill) and also an obese man fighting a hippopotamus (at that time the obese were primarly fed to lions to give them the taste for human flesh).
Another time a Muffler was asked for directions to the post office and the poor lost fellow was subjected to detailed directions but also a concise bio of the architect of the building and a dictation of the history of the postal services (this last bit wasn't so long given that the concept of delivering mail had only been invented a few days earlier). The man also was told just how builders went about constructing the huge columns they put in front of buildings. This information was of course lost when mufflers were muffled and then cruelly attached to the bottom of cars, not only ruining a great species and the only living talking metal species, but also rendering most buildings column-less and boring.
Mufflers unfortunately on the other hand (a term mufflers despised seeing as they had no hands) were not just wells of information, they were also vicious liars and rumor mongers (amongst the many lies mufflers told over the years was that they coined the word monger when in fact it was actually coined by a small Peruvian boy while trying to order Mongolian Bbq take out).
Mufflers were responsible for some of the worst rumors and lies ever told
- it was after a Muffler told an Englishman that rats were fun to lick that the black plague broke out
- it was a muffler who started the rumor that women were allowed to say no to sex leading men to start seeking world power, and you know starting all those war dealies
- Jesus? You better believe that was a another Muffler rumor (Buddha on the hand was real. His rise to spiritual leader was inspired by the fact a lion had refused to eat him, making people think he was magic. His jolliness on the other hand, yep, you guessed it - merely a muffler rumor. He was actually a sadistic serial killer and his justifications about reincarnation at the time were considered silly in the way 'the dog told me to do it' is joked about today.
One rumor never attributed to the Mufflers, yet one I personally suspect were all over it (I was going to say had their finger prints all over it, they don't have hands David! Ha ha, sometimes you can be silly) was the rumor that you can wish upon a star - this is NOT FUCKING TRUE. Ever since this rumor was begun wishes have gone wasted on non-wish granting entities and this is just the kind of evilness that was at the very heart of the Muffler rumor mongering society.
The point is with electric cars becoming more and more the rage we have reached a time in the world where Mufflers may no longer be part of the auto-community and therefore Mufflers may be freed from their muffling and you better believe they are going to have a lot to say, and if you only listen to one thing this week, listen to this - don't listen to the mufflers, they're often really, really mumbly and that can be annoying to listen to.
Ps - did you listen to that? Awesomenessous - It's hard to hear the written word - I'm super proud of you :)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Back to normal proceedings
Ah the crazy life has been crazy this past month making me even a tad crazier than normal.
I have been poor with blog comments, both on my own blog and others, and OK, intriguing: Hell Yeah! has been off, and I haven't been blogging, and you know I have been doing some of that life dealy off the net. But this week things should be resuming back to their normal awesomenessous, hell yeah!
And to celebrate I am going to do something totally abnormal for me, and that is to quote someone else
What's an Australian kiss?? The same as a French kiss except down under baby!!
from http://www.myspace.com/mab74
Someone who I have never spoken to, but I knew there was a reason I liked to kiss down under ;)
I have been poor with blog comments, both on my own blog and others, and OK, intriguing: Hell Yeah! has been off, and I haven't been blogging, and you know I have been doing some of that life dealy off the net. But this week things should be resuming back to their normal awesomenessous, hell yeah!
And to celebrate I am going to do something totally abnormal for me, and that is to quote someone else
What's an Australian kiss?? The same as a French kiss except down under baby!!
from http://www.myspace.com/mab74
Someone who I have never spoken to, but I knew there was a reason I liked to kiss down under ;)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Things you may not know about Amsterdam
I just spent a couple of days in Amsterdam and it was awesome, but some things I learned about this wonderful city surprised even me!
- It has the most art galleries per-capita of anywhere on earth
- Many of the buildings are sinking and look about to fall over
- If you go there and don't do drugs or have sex with a prostitute the day you arrive home the mayor of Amsterdam prank calls you pretending to be an aardvark
- While marijuana is legal to balance it out watching squirrels play is strictly forbidden and I mean STRICTLY forbidden
- Before finding success with the red light sex district Amsterdam previously failed miserably with the mustard yellow painted chimney district
- Seriously you do not want to know what happens if you watch squirrels play, just trust me, if I talk about it anymore they might do 'it' to me too
- The 'dam' in Amster'dam' has nothing to do with the Dykes and everything to do with premonition that Dave 'Dam' Tieck would you know, visit and that
- Oh come on man, I can tell you're thinking about watching Squrrills play, are you insane?
Dave 'Dam' Tieck
- It has the most art galleries per-capita of anywhere on earth
- Many of the buildings are sinking and look about to fall over
- If you go there and don't do drugs or have sex with a prostitute the day you arrive home the mayor of Amsterdam prank calls you pretending to be an aardvark
- While marijuana is legal to balance it out watching squirrels play is strictly forbidden and I mean STRICTLY forbidden
- Before finding success with the red light sex district Amsterdam previously failed miserably with the mustard yellow painted chimney district
- Seriously you do not want to know what happens if you watch squirrels play, just trust me, if I talk about it anymore they might do 'it' to me too
- The 'dam' in Amster'dam' has nothing to do with the Dykes and everything to do with premonition that Dave 'Dam' Tieck would you know, visit and that
- Oh come on man, I can tell you're thinking about watching Squrrills play, are you insane?
Dave 'Dam' Tieck
Friday, May 21, 2010
Movie Magic
The Cannes film festival has been all kinds of wonderful and exhausting and crazy and fun, and quite frankly its time for us to have a very special edition of Ok, intriguing: Hell Yeah! live from the Cannes film festival!!!!!
So here it is, the movie centric magical questionnaire
Whats your all time favorite movie quote?
What do you think is the most annoying movie cliche?
My all time favorite movie is 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' which posed the question - would you erase the memories of your ex if you could?
What would you erase from your memory if you could?
Whats the worst thing you have ever wanted to do to an ex?
What movies have you seen which make you ponder about life?
Got any questions about Cannes for us?
I'm not sure when we will do this show (time difference, internet access problems, power problems, the fact we're partying tonnes) but we will be live and interactive, and we might just go for a long time this time, I think we have stuff to talk about, so keep your eye out and I'll let you know when to watch.
Cheers!
So here it is, the movie centric magical questionnaire
Whats your all time favorite movie quote?
What do you think is the most annoying movie cliche?
My all time favorite movie is 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' which posed the question - would you erase the memories of your ex if you could?
What would you erase from your memory if you could?
Whats the worst thing you have ever wanted to do to an ex?
What movies have you seen which make you ponder about life?
Got any questions about Cannes for us?
I'm not sure when we will do this show (time difference, internet access problems, power problems, the fact we're partying tonnes) but we will be live and interactive, and we might just go for a long time this time, I think we have stuff to talk about, so keep your eye out and I'll let you know when to watch.
Cheers!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I need more adorable hugs
Here are some things you may not know about hugs
- You can give yourself herpes by hugging yourself but it is totally worth it for the funny way it makes you fall over (Note: Only if you have NOT being drinking) (Note2: Assuming you are drunk from a new magical non-drinking alcohol)
- Every time you hug a boat a seagull dies. That means more garbage fries for you!
- 95% of rich people hug their money = proof hugs make people rich (Note: And super hip)
- Machine gun factories all have one staff member to hug all guns before they leave the factory and this is why machine guns are used exclusively to show expressions of love. (Note: If you have had a different experience with machine guns then your guns are counterfeit) (Note2: Most machine guns are counterfeit)
- If you surprise hug a random girl in a bikini on the beach she will give you money (Note: Unless she is a demon sent from hell)(Note2: Almost all girls are demons sent from hell)
- If you hug someone for 21 days straight without a break you probably really like hugs, and are comfortable pooing in front of others (Note: Anyone want to help me break the world record for longest continuous hug) (Note2: Must be comfortable pooing in front of me)
- If you go a hundred and twenty seven years with no hugs at all you will probably die
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, give him a hug and he will be warm and cozy inside (Note: He'll still be hungry give him so food you bastard)
- If you hug an old grandfather clock all time stops still (Note: Assuming your clock is broken) (Note2: Also assuming you didn't mean like all time in the world, grandfather clocks aren't freakin magical)
- If there was a town named 'hug' it would be an awesome place to live (Note: Assuming low crime rate and good yet affordable shopping) (Note2: Towns named after expressions of physcial affection are notorious for high crime rates) (Note3: This is often reported to be because of shitty yet overpriced shopping)
- You can hug a girl, you can hug a man and you can hug a man hugging girl and its awesome (Note: If the boy hugging the girl are your brother and sister its even more awesome) (Note2: Wear a condom, no ones wants to see your freak babies)
- Headphones are phones you listen to with your head unlike telephones which you listen to with your tele, but no one knows what a tele is, which means teles suck. Am I right? (Note: This last thing was really lame, unlike hugs)
- No one has ever died from too much hugging (Note: If your experience with this is different then you're in the afterlife, oooh, is it super cool?) (Note2: Unless you murdered someone by hugging them in which case - boo!)
- If you get so drunk that you wake up next to someone yet don't remember who they are then you're just wasting your hugs (Note: Shame on you) (Note2: Next time please share drinks and or/girl with me) (Note3: Is shame on you really an insult? If not assume I said something worse and therefore draw a worse conclusion for yourself) (Note4: Only, you know, if you did that wasting hugs dealy, and didn't share girls or drinks with me) (Note5: Fuck that I can get my own drinks, share girls please)
- You can give yourself herpes by hugging yourself but it is totally worth it for the funny way it makes you fall over (Note: Only if you have NOT being drinking) (Note2: Assuming you are drunk from a new magical non-drinking alcohol)
- Every time you hug a boat a seagull dies. That means more garbage fries for you!
- 95% of rich people hug their money = proof hugs make people rich (Note: And super hip)
- Machine gun factories all have one staff member to hug all guns before they leave the factory and this is why machine guns are used exclusively to show expressions of love. (Note: If you have had a different experience with machine guns then your guns are counterfeit) (Note2: Most machine guns are counterfeit)
- If you surprise hug a random girl in a bikini on the beach she will give you money (Note: Unless she is a demon sent from hell)(Note2: Almost all girls are demons sent from hell)
- If you hug someone for 21 days straight without a break you probably really like hugs, and are comfortable pooing in front of others (Note: Anyone want to help me break the world record for longest continuous hug) (Note2: Must be comfortable pooing in front of me)
- If you go a hundred and twenty seven years with no hugs at all you will probably die
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, give him a hug and he will be warm and cozy inside (Note: He'll still be hungry give him so food you bastard)
- If you hug an old grandfather clock all time stops still (Note: Assuming your clock is broken) (Note2: Also assuming you didn't mean like all time in the world, grandfather clocks aren't freakin magical)
- If there was a town named 'hug' it would be an awesome place to live (Note: Assuming low crime rate and good yet affordable shopping) (Note2: Towns named after expressions of physcial affection are notorious for high crime rates) (Note3: This is often reported to be because of shitty yet overpriced shopping)
- You can hug a girl, you can hug a man and you can hug a man hugging girl and its awesome (Note: If the boy hugging the girl are your brother and sister its even more awesome) (Note2: Wear a condom, no ones wants to see your freak babies)
- Headphones are phones you listen to with your head unlike telephones which you listen to with your tele, but no one knows what a tele is, which means teles suck. Am I right? (Note: This last thing was really lame, unlike hugs)
- No one has ever died from too much hugging (Note: If your experience with this is different then you're in the afterlife, oooh, is it super cool?) (Note2: Unless you murdered someone by hugging them in which case - boo!)
- If you get so drunk that you wake up next to someone yet don't remember who they are then you're just wasting your hugs (Note: Shame on you) (Note2: Next time please share drinks and or/girl with me) (Note3: Is shame on you really an insult? If not assume I said something worse and therefore draw a worse conclusion for yourself) (Note4: Only, you know, if you did that wasting hugs dealy, and didn't share girls or drinks with me) (Note5: Fuck that I can get my own drinks, share girls please)
Friday, May 14, 2010
Lost in megapalooza
Damn damn damn,
No Ok, intriguing tonight. Sorry for those who have been watching. I really, really, fucking really want to do it, but we are having major internet and power problems over here in Cannes.
On the other hand we will be having at least one Movie inspired magical Questionnaire and show within the week at different time. So stop on by and we'll have info soon.
Also blog time tomorrow, no computer has made me write with my hand dealy, like with a pencil, like they did in the ancient times in the 90s and that, so I need to type up, but its going to be adorably fucking awesomnessous!!!!!!
No Ok, intriguing tonight. Sorry for those who have been watching. I really, really, fucking really want to do it, but we are having major internet and power problems over here in Cannes.
On the other hand we will be having at least one Movie inspired magical Questionnaire and show within the week at different time. So stop on by and we'll have info soon.
Also blog time tomorrow, no computer has made me write with my hand dealy, like with a pencil, like they did in the ancient times in the 90s and that, so I need to type up, but its going to be adorably fucking awesomnessous!!!!!!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Ok, intriguing: Hell Yeah! New show up :) :)
We had fun, and did nutty stuff, and I think we talked about boobs at one point
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/6756397
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/6757566
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/6756397
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/6757566
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Party time excellent Questionnaire
Hey everybody, this weeks Ok, intriguing: Hell Yeah! is a very special edition, it celebration of the wonderful Debbie and I finishing our script, and as a farewell for us heading to Cannes, we are having a party episode in front of live studio audience (some drunk friends), so this weeks questionnaire is all about parties.
1. Whats the most embarrassing/awesomenessous that's ever happened to you at a party?
2. If you could party with anyone who would you party with?
3. I think we should do an episode dressed up as if we were at a costume party, ohhh (meant to be a sexy ooh, but I don't know how to spell it sexy), who would you like to see myself, Faith and Eliza dressed up as?
4. Every party or bar I go to always has way more men than women, whats your favorite thing to imagine the ladies are doing instead?
If you're in the LA area and want to come watch the show, or come to the party let me know. 6pm Friday night!
Put your responses below, or email them to dtieck@gmail.com
Yay
1. Whats the most embarrassing/awesomenessous that's ever happened to you at a party?
2. If you could party with anyone who would you party with?
3. I think we should do an episode dressed up as if we were at a costume party, ohhh (meant to be a sexy ooh, but I don't know how to spell it sexy), who would you like to see myself, Faith and Eliza dressed up as?
4. Every party or bar I go to always has way more men than women, whats your favorite thing to imagine the ladies are doing instead?
If you're in the LA area and want to come watch the show, or come to the party let me know. 6pm Friday night!
Put your responses below, or email them to dtieck@gmail.com
Yay
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Advice from Dave
Substance abuse is a great way to forget your troubles.
If by abuse you mean - till you can't possibly handle anymore
and if by Substance you mean - cuddling kittens
And if by the . at the end you mean - plus consuming vast quantities of mind altering chemicals
And if by the after the . you mean - just joking, it would be irresponsible for me to suggest such things especially seeing as I don't partake in any drug taking myself, unless you count alcohol, and seeing as you definitely should count the biggest death causing drug of all, then I guess I am just a hypocrite and probably shouldn't be trusted anyway
But then again, if you to you the above sentence meant all that, maybe your troubles run a little beyond my ability to help you.
If by abuse you mean - till you can't possibly handle anymore
and if by Substance you mean - cuddling kittens
And if by the . at the end you mean - plus consuming vast quantities of mind altering chemicals
And if by the after the . you mean - just joking, it would be irresponsible for me to suggest such things especially seeing as I don't partake in any drug taking myself, unless you count alcohol, and seeing as you definitely should count the biggest death causing drug of all, then I guess I am just a hypocrite and probably shouldn't be trusted anyway
But then again, if you to you the above sentence meant all that, maybe your troubles run a little beyond my ability to help you.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Things I learned this morning
- Hippies are not hip ecstasy pills
- Tuxedos look weird on giraffes
- Walls are curtains that work
- Witches are often good spellers
That's right I have had a hell of a morning.
- Tuxedos look weird on giraffes
- Walls are curtains that work
- Witches are often good spellers
That's right I have had a hell of a morning.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Clearly I have been a total prick
Because I completely forgot these questions and suggestions posed to me ages ago. Time to correct this farcical culumbdumiam of mine.
1-Something new you learned lately, I dunno, like what I just learned.
Hmmm, I am always on the learning curve, in fact I am a lover of curves, turning curves in my car, even though I dont have a car, throwing curve balls, even though I don't know how to, the curves of a woman, even though I don't get to enjoy them anywhere near as much as I would like to.
Actually, fuck that, I am no fan of curves at all. I just WISH I was a fan of curves.
Curves is also the name of the GYM which only allows women, what the hell is the deal with that? The biggest motivating force that gets me to the gym is the thought of perving at girls getting all sweaty and putting their bodies in weird uncomfortable positions. It makes me think of enjoying exploring her curves. And that it is a curve lesson that should never be forgotten. Don't women want to watch those pretentious assholes that check out their own abs in the mirror while at the gym and remind themselves that although they probably love nice abs on a guy that it isn't worth it if the guys that have them are that self involved, only to immediately forget it when the guy in the bar with the great 6-pack starts chatting to them at the bar?
Silly silly curve ladies.
In fact my favorite thing about curves is that they are the opposite of a straight line and a straight line is the shortest distance between too points, which makes curves way less obsessed with just getting their the quickest, stop and enjoy the ride motherfuckers.
Or, yeah, spill some more manly secrets
Were all mere scared little boys inside who just wish to be held, oh wait thats just me. Hmmm manly secrets. Here is one I should never tell anyone anywhere on earth, so the internet will do. If I haven't had an orgasm for a few days, and then I use the bathroom in the number two style, sometimes it cums out...... wait wait wait stop that David, leave the odd thing to the imagination, for once you might be right Dave.
It has been coming more and more to my attention recently that I am so far from the normal male that I may no longer be able to speak for my sex. I am also so far from being a normal human that I may stop speaking for those people type dealies too, but oh well, my alien friends are still ultra cool.
2-Any cock-blocking stories? (sorry, I have sons, they think this subject is hilarious--they send me YouTube links)
I'm so cool and hip that I just had to google the term to make sure I knew what it meant. Ah cock-blocking. The key to not being cock blocked is to have a group of friends with a basic moral code. Simple rules, whoever meets the girls gets first choice, if his choice wants one of his friends bad luck for said friend, he should have met her first. Unless the guy that met them finds success with another of the girls, in which case he has non-verbally given his permission. But still, no boasting allowed after, only thanks. If your in a bar and you see a girl you like, you have first dibs as long as you make the move first, if you ask a friend to do it then they are allowed to proceed with your choice, although a good friend still wont. Never hit on a girl who is with another guy. Always assume boyfriend until they have given decisive evidence that this is false.
Fuck me, just reminding myself I need a wingman in this town stat, no wonder I have not being getting even close to any action.
Um, cock-blocking. I have never done it, and anytime someone who is acquaintance of mine has done it to me or anyone else they have ceased to be my friend.
That's the real manly lesson, many of us have a strong moral code, even when it comes to causal sex or just chasing girls. We have it because if we didn't we'd just kill each other. For the most part it goes unspoken, but it is there.
The lesson is, if you see a guy you want, go after him, because if his friend sees you first he may be morally unable to ever do it. Also if you see a guy you like, pawn your friends off on his friends, in the words of snoop dog "it aint no fun if the homies dont get none'
3- Craig Ferguson or Conan O'Brien or ________?
These are two heroes of mine. Conan because his writing and twisted take on the world is just incredible, and the way he explores when doing remotes is something I very much hope to replicate one day.
Craig because he is so free and natural, most of his show is improvised so he is completely in the moment. When I reach this level of freedom I will become a great comedian, until then I will just watch him with joy.
More to come tomorrow :)
1-Something new you learned lately, I dunno, like what I just learned.
Hmmm, I am always on the learning curve, in fact I am a lover of curves, turning curves in my car, even though I dont have a car, throwing curve balls, even though I don't know how to, the curves of a woman, even though I don't get to enjoy them anywhere near as much as I would like to.
Actually, fuck that, I am no fan of curves at all. I just WISH I was a fan of curves.
Curves is also the name of the GYM which only allows women, what the hell is the deal with that? The biggest motivating force that gets me to the gym is the thought of perving at girls getting all sweaty and putting their bodies in weird uncomfortable positions. It makes me think of enjoying exploring her curves. And that it is a curve lesson that should never be forgotten. Don't women want to watch those pretentious assholes that check out their own abs in the mirror while at the gym and remind themselves that although they probably love nice abs on a guy that it isn't worth it if the guys that have them are that self involved, only to immediately forget it when the guy in the bar with the great 6-pack starts chatting to them at the bar?
Silly silly curve ladies.
In fact my favorite thing about curves is that they are the opposite of a straight line and a straight line is the shortest distance between too points, which makes curves way less obsessed with just getting their the quickest, stop and enjoy the ride motherfuckers.
Or, yeah, spill some more manly secrets
Were all mere scared little boys inside who just wish to be held, oh wait thats just me. Hmmm manly secrets. Here is one I should never tell anyone anywhere on earth, so the internet will do. If I haven't had an orgasm for a few days, and then I use the bathroom in the number two style, sometimes it cums out...... wait wait wait stop that David, leave the odd thing to the imagination, for once you might be right Dave.
It has been coming more and more to my attention recently that I am so far from the normal male that I may no longer be able to speak for my sex. I am also so far from being a normal human that I may stop speaking for those people type dealies too, but oh well, my alien friends are still ultra cool.
2-Any cock-blocking stories? (sorry, I have sons, they think this subject is hilarious--they send me YouTube links)
I'm so cool and hip that I just had to google the term to make sure I knew what it meant. Ah cock-blocking. The key to not being cock blocked is to have a group of friends with a basic moral code. Simple rules, whoever meets the girls gets first choice, if his choice wants one of his friends bad luck for said friend, he should have met her first. Unless the guy that met them finds success with another of the girls, in which case he has non-verbally given his permission. But still, no boasting allowed after, only thanks. If your in a bar and you see a girl you like, you have first dibs as long as you make the move first, if you ask a friend to do it then they are allowed to proceed with your choice, although a good friend still wont. Never hit on a girl who is with another guy. Always assume boyfriend until they have given decisive evidence that this is false.
Fuck me, just reminding myself I need a wingman in this town stat, no wonder I have not being getting even close to any action.
Um, cock-blocking. I have never done it, and anytime someone who is acquaintance of mine has done it to me or anyone else they have ceased to be my friend.
That's the real manly lesson, many of us have a strong moral code, even when it comes to causal sex or just chasing girls. We have it because if we didn't we'd just kill each other. For the most part it goes unspoken, but it is there.
The lesson is, if you see a guy you want, go after him, because if his friend sees you first he may be morally unable to ever do it. Also if you see a guy you like, pawn your friends off on his friends, in the words of snoop dog "it aint no fun if the homies dont get none'
3- Craig Ferguson or Conan O'Brien or ________?
These are two heroes of mine. Conan because his writing and twisted take on the world is just incredible, and the way he explores when doing remotes is something I very much hope to replicate one day.
Craig because he is so free and natural, most of his show is improvised so he is completely in the moment. When I reach this level of freedom I will become a great comedian, until then I will just watch him with joy.
More to come tomorrow :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)