Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Escaping my hiding place - Chapter 21


“Sometimes you can do everything perfectly and it still not be enough!

Normally when a situation like this one arose, well not exactly like this, I mean something like this had never happened, but circumstances where something bad happened to me, in the past I would have escaped into a hole and not come out for weeks, and that’s what I felt like doing, but Hannah would have none of it. She just happened to stop by the next day out of the blue. By now I had gotten quite use to the fact Hannah was a stop in out of the blue kind of girl.

I asked her about it once, and she said it was because when you stopped in on people out of the blue you could read their faces and see if they really were happy to see you or if they weren’t quite happy to have you around, that way, she said, you could tell who your real friends are.

I questioned why it didn’t disappoint her then that I wasn’t always so enthusiastic about her presence, and she said that she had learnt early on how to read even my faces, and that no matter how much I resisted, she could tell that deep down, even if only subconsciously, I was always happy to see her.

She was right! I was always happy to see her. Even the times when she would rope me into doing things that from the outset I was completely against the idea of. She would talk me into it. I would go and complain the whole time. Then I would come home and smile and be happy that I had tried something out of the ordinary, and realize that most of the time they ended up being great experiences.

It was the same this time. Outwardly the thought of doing something new and social with Hannah while I was heartbroken, seemed about as appealing as trying to make a sculpture of my own body by carefully extracting a thin layer of skin from my entire body to use as a mold.

However inside, down where this painful extraction wouldn’t be felt, I was ecstatic that Hannah was on my couch about to explain idea for an interesting way to spend the evening. I mean I wanted to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry, but I knew for the future, for tomorrow and the next day, I would be much happier letting Hannah guide me. Maybe that’s a sign of maturity, being willing to do the thing you fear because you know it will improve your tomorrow, I was happy that making decisions like that were becoming easier for me.

As we walked down the street Hannah explained that she was taking me to a hotel, for a Canadian party. Despite recognizing my growing maturity, I still had a whinge about this plan.

“A Canadian Party?” I whinged

“Ok JayJay (I’d told Hannah the story of Ellie by now, she laughed at me at first. First because she said she knew that Ellie had a boyfriend, and if I had only told her that I liked her she could of warned me off. Then she saw how upset I was about it all, and started to sympathize with me, which didn’t stop her at all for laughing at me when I told her about telling Ellie my name was JayJay, she laughed her ass off, then said under no circumstances would she ever call me anything else, I wasn’t overly upset about that) lets just skip the usual pattern this time” she said “I’ll give you a guilt trip….you’ll give in….you’ll come….you’ll have a great time….tomorrow you will call me to tell me how endlessly grateful you are that I was born into this world…and I’ll say most people are grateful for the existence of Hannah….and you’ll agree…and I’ll bask in the glory of my popularity….and you’ll worship my wisdom”


So off we went into the city and into one of the fanciest hotels in town. We got dirty looks from the staff as we walked through the lobby and into the elevators, I don’t think we really looked like the hotels usual clientele, and then we got the elevator to the top floor. We walked down the hallway towards the room at the end with music blaring out from it so loud that the whole hallway seemed to shake.

Just as we were about to knock on the door it suddenly swung open and out stumbled a clearly drunk man with long hair and no shirt on, carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand, and a beautiful blonde girl in the other hand, wearing nothing but her underwear and an open robe.

“HANNAH” He yelled as he spotted us “EVERYONES IN THERE MAN….I”M JUST GOING DOWN TO MY ROOM FOR A MINUTE (he looked down at the girl he had his arm around who was about a foot shorter than him) well what do you think hon, maybe three or four minutes this time?”

“I don’t know if you’re capable of that sort of stamina” She replied to him.

We all had a laugh (mine was the fake sort – I was a little too nervous about this impending situation to actually laugh), then me and Hannah walked in.

The room was the biggest hotel room I had ever seen. It was about three times as big as my parent’s house, and had this awesome view of all the surrounding sky scrappers. Sitting around on the numerous couches and chairs were three members of what was now clearly a band. All three had long hair and tons of tattoos, they all had some form of facial hair, one had massive hairy side burns and looked like he should have been living in the seventies, and one had a goatee beard which was about ten inches long, and the third just looked like he hadn’t had a shave in about six days.

Sitting around these three rockers were about twenty different music instruments lying all over the place and about ten of what I guess I would describe as groupies, all girls, all semi naked, all about seventeen or eighteen, all listening to every word which these guys were saying as if they were Gandhi.

Sitting over in a corner were two girls who didn’t seem to fit the mold of the rest of them. One of them was dressed a lot more like the band mates; she had red streaks in her hair, and red make up around her eyes, and was dressed in tight black leather pants and a black baggy ripped singlet. The other one looked completely out of place; she was a little round, and wearing jeans and a jumper which said ‘....University.. of ..Calgary....’ on it.

We entered the room barely noticed by anyone. Until suddenly the rocker looking of the girls in the corner looked up, her face exploded into a huge smile, and she ran over and launched herself at Hannah with a big hug, which then turned into a brief competition on which of them could lift the other the most of the ground.

“How was your show?” Hannah asked the girl

“It was awesome aye….you guys have the best crowds here” She replied

“This is Marlin” Hannah said to me as introduction “She is the lead singer of ‘Lost in Life’”

“Oh my god nice to meet you” I said like a huge fan, even though I had never heard of the band ‘Lost in Life’

“This is JayJay” Hannah said with a smile

“This is my friend Lisa” Marlin said pointing out her friend who had slowly come over to join the rest of us

“Nice to meet you” She shyly responded

“HANNAAAAAAH” The other three band members suddenly screamed out from over on the couch

“Not many girls tonight? Must have had an off night boys” Hannah said back to them all, suddenly making all the groupies look a little self conscience

“You don’t need more than this when they look as nice as these girls do!” One of them responded, making the girls instantly seem happy again

“Do you guys want a drink?” Marlin asked us

“Yeah we’ll both have a beer” Hannah replied for us both

“I’ll help” Said Lisa, and the two of them walked off towards the kitchen area where a makeshift bar was set up

Hannah explained to me while they were gone that she had met Marlin a couple of years earlier when she was out here as a backpacker. Marlin was singing on the street to make some extra cash, and Hannah had stopped to have a listen and couldn’t walk away, she was just that good. At the end of her set Hannah had gone up to talk to Marlin and they had become good friends for the rest of her holiday.

Hannah said how she was just so proud that Marlin and her band had become such massive world wide stars, and I sat there wondering who the hell they were. I mean Marlin did look semi familiar, but the rest didn’t, and the name ‘Lost in Life’ didn’t sound familiar at all.

The girls came back over with two beers for us, they were called ‘Elk Beer’, and Hannah complained at them for bringing their own stuff from home, and not trying the local stuff. Marlin said that the tour organizers had done it all. Marlin was drinking some weird looking light pink cocktail, and Lisa was drinking a coke.

“Hey I have to show you something aye” Marlin said to Hannah, and they suddenly disappeared off into a one of the bedrooms of the suite, leaving me alone with Lisa

“So” I said

“So” She replied



“So do you like know Marlin from ....Canada....?” This was a stupid question, she clearly did, for one thing she had a Canadian accent, and secondly she was clearly hoping to stick to Marlin the way I was hoping to stick to Hannah. Lisa was giving off that same odor that I know I always do in these situations, the odor of uncomfortabilty. At first I started to panic about the fact that I was about to have a conversation littered with devastatingly embarrassing silences, lots of one word answers to five word questions, and with us both constantly looking over towards the bedroom door which Hannah and Marlin were in, preying that it opened as soon as humanly fucking possible. Then I remembered my mantra, “How can I improve my situation right now”, and decided that I wasn’t going to fall into the normal bloody traps. I could tell Lisa was shy as hell. That’s something I know all about. I knew what she was going through, and I knew that she was not standing there worrying about whether I said something stupid, she would be happy for me to say anything at all. I could be the one in control here. I could be the outgoing one, the talkative one, the interesting one. It was an interesting and alluring position to be in. I suddenly felt in control.

“Yeah” She replied with a one word answer

“So how did you become friends?” I asked “that’s the way to do it, ask questions with no possible one word answer” I thought to myself

“We actually went to school together aye”

“And you’ve been friends ever since?”
”Yeah…been like ten years now”

“That’s great….so what did you think when she told you she wanted to be a rock star?”

“I always knew she could do it…she used to sing all the time when we were younger, just on the playground at school and stuff aye”

I began to relax and just sort of interview Lisa the way Hannah’s friends had done with me at that dinner party. I found out that Marlin had been a bit upset that the two of them hadn’t been able to spend much time together, since ‘L-I-L’ (as Lisa called the band) had become so huge, and Marlin had convinced Lisa to come on this tour with her, even though Lisa had been reluctant. She was having a good time, she mostly enjoyed the opportunities to go site seeing on the days they weren’t traveling, they had been all though Asia already and had seen some awesome stuff, but she was less happy on gig nights when the band would have post gig parties and bring all these slutty girls back, which made her feel uncomfortable.

The more I talked to Lisa the more I liked her. She was just so sweet and down to earth. And the more I liked her, the more attractive she became to me. She was a little overweight, but she wasn’t really fat or anything, just roundish, she did have quite large breasts, you can’t complain too much about that. And her face was more than pleasant to look at, nice smile, nice blue eyes, and long wavy blonde hair.

I asked her about what she did back home - she was at university studying to be a dental assistant, which I told her she must be nuts to want to do. I mean who wants to suck blood out of people’s mouths while dentists drill holes in their teeth, and while the patient rolls around in absolute agony. That’s not what I wanted out of a career. Lisa said she just wanted to help people, and didn’t have good enough marks to be a doctor, or nurse, or dentist, so this was the best she could do. I thought that was amazingly generous of her, to do a job which is gross, and which is rarely appreciated by the patients at the time, but is most certainly helping them in a time of distress.

She told me about the ..Rockies.., which she now lived just on the fringe of. She talked about them with such wonderment in her voice that I suddenly had a desperate urge to take up skiing.

After a while I realized that we had been talking for a long while and Hannah and Marlin were still hidden away in that bedroom. I asked Lisa what the hell they could be doing, and she just rolled her eyes and said “I have an idea”. She didn’t elaborate though.

.. ..

I decided not to raise the fact that the band on the couches with the groupies had now turned into the band on the couches having an orgy with the groupies. I had barely noticed it happening, I had just turned around one time and the three guys all had their heads back with there mouths open making faces like their brains were being sucked out of their ears. They all had a selection of girls on their knees in front of them. Didn’t seem like too bad a position to be in.

Lisa had obviously noticed before me, she was in a much better position to watch than me, and she hadn’t said a word. So I decided to just ignore it and keep chatting about mountains. I did start to look around slightly more frequently though. It was a little weird to be sitting on the floor while three guys were having sex with three girls each right behind me. “Lucky fucking bastards I thought”, “How can I become a rock star?”

About the third time I swung around, one of the girls was in the process of giving oral sex to one of the other girls who was lying on the couch, while one of the guys was having sex with her from behind; while another girl was sitting legs open naked above them just watching.

I casually turned back around like nothing was going on and said “So are the views nice from the chairlifts?” Meanwhile a mountain of its own was developing in my pants, which was in desperate need of some skiers sliding down it. I couldn’t just sit there like that and do nothing.

One of the girls separated from the group behind me and walked past us down the hall towards the bathroom. Lisa turned as she walked past, just for a second watching where she was going, and when she turned back to face me I met her with a kiss.

.. ..

She jumped back from me, stunned at what I had done, I was semi stunned myself. Then she suddenly smiled and launched herself at me, pushing me onto my back and lying on top of me, before burying her tongue so deep in my mouth that I nearly choked. She pulled back off me and lifted her head up and smiled at me, I smiled back, she seemed to like this and responded by such rapid tongue movement in my mouth that it felt like a family of snakes were trying to make their way into my mouth to make a new home.

I couldn’t say I was an expert kisser by this stage of my career. So I was somewhat pleasantly surprised and somewhat unhappily surprised that Lisa was quite an ordinary kisser herself. Her method was to just open her mouth as wide as she could, then engulf my mouth with it, and move her tongue in and out of my mouth like she was trying do dig a burrow in my gums. This was good because I didn’t get embarrassed straight away that she would catch my inexperience out, which allowed me to relax a lot more, but then after a while I began to think “Really is this what people do when they kiss? It’s just not that good really”. It seemed to me that if billions of people decide to kiss each other as often as they do in this world, that there must be more to it. I wanted to know.

I grabbed Lisa around her waste, and rolled her onto her back so that I was on top of her. We caught each others eyes as we found a comfortable position for me to lie on her, and she looked about as happy as anyone I had ever seen, which in turn made me the happiest I had been in as long as I could remember. It was then that it hit me that I was in the process of making out with a cute Canadian girl, a girl who so easily could have just been another one of my all too many embarrassing conversation memories.

I moved back down towards her and began to gently kiss her neck; this made her arch her back in a way that let me know that she definitely liked it. So I continued to kiss her like that all around her neck and then up towards her right ear, and onto her cheek. I withdrew just for a second and could see her eyes closed and her lips pursed.

So I moved onto them, just gently, with one lip above hers, and one lip right in the middle. She went to open her mouth, just as I pulled away again, and she sort of kissed the air. As she completed this air kiss my mouth came back down and just sort of took hold of her upper lip. I withdrew again. Then repeated this, three or four times, this was more like it. The next time I held it there longer and kissed her fully, then again, this time allowing us to open our mouth long enough for our tongues to meet fleetingly.

I moved onto her neck again briefly, and Lisa started to breath heavier and moan lightly. This time when my lips met hers again we had a deep pure kiss with just the perfect amount of tongue and wetness.

“Ok now I get it” I thought to myself

“You’re such a good kisser JayJay” Lisa whispered to me

Our lips were like magnets now, couldn’t be apart for more than a minisecond, without sucking each other back together. It was awesome. I was feeling fantastic now, I was in control, I wasn’t nervous, I was confident. Time to move this little event on to another level!

My hands at this stage had gone nowhere apart from her back, or her sides, or her lower legs. I wanted to know where else they would be permitted to explore. First spot I wanted to get at was her ass, well the first place I was willing to try and make a move for anyway.

I rolled her back over so that she was on top of me. Then I started to rub her all over her back, moving further and further down until I reached her tail bone. I paused there for just a second then slowly slid each of my hands over each of her ass cheeks. She didn’t even flinch. So I started to squeeze and caress them. She had quite a big butt, but it wasn’t anywhere near as soft as I was expecting. It was just firm and round, and I got myself well acquainted with it, top to bottom, side to side. Once I was quite sure I had felt it up everyway possible, I decided to move to phase two.

Then I moved my hand back up towards her back, this time letting my hands slide under her jumper and under her t-shirt below. Her skin was soft and warm. She had just a little layer of fat around her sides, and it felt nice in my hands. I moved my hands up all over her back, so that I was pulling her in close to me and my whole hands and fore arms were up against her skin, it was delightful.

Meanwhile she had one exploring my hair, and her other one was being used as support on the ground as I engulfed her with my hands. I rolled her back over onto her back, and her other hand went immediately to my ass. This I took as a good sign. She obviously wasn’t upset about where I seemed to be moving our adventure.

I put one hand back under her shirt, just on her side, and moved it up over onto her tummy. She was lying on her back, so her stomach was all flat and quite firm; I rubbed it all over until I found her belly button, which I played with gently.

She pulled her lips away from mine just briefly, she needed to catch her breath for a second, but then jumped straight back in; she was clearly not in the mood for this to end yet. I decided to see how far up I could get my hand under her shirt. As I kissed her I would move my hand up just a couple of inches and hold it there. Then a couple of inches more and hold it there. Then again and again until my finger tips were up against the bottom of her bra. After a longer pause in this spot I suddenly moved my hand over her entire right breast and then over to the spot in the middle between the two of them. No protesting. This was a good sign. The second time I went for a breast grab, again at the right, this time I had a good solid grip on it. Oh it was magnificent. She truly did have gorgeous breasts. Much bigger than my hand could cover, which allowed me to move my hand in circles all around. I particularly liked the bit above the bra where the cleavage protruded from the bra and was soft and smooth.

She didn’t seem to mind at all where my hand was now at. So I moved my left hand underneath too and started to fondle her breasts like they two big chunks of clay that I was about to make a pot out of. I was in heaven. As good as it was though, as much as I had dreamed about a moment such as this for as long as I had had hair where there had previously been no hair, I still was feeling a little unsatisfied, I wanted more.

I decided to make a move towards the forbidden forest. Towards the slippery cavern. Towards the opening of desires. Towards the hole of opportunity. Towards the creator of life. Towards the best fishing spot god ever created. Then I realized if I was actually going to do that I should stop thinking up metaphors for the word vagina and make my move.

I moved my hand down off her breasts, reluctantly, I mean I could have quite happily continued fondling those for quite sometime, but I had other uncharted waters to explore. My hand slid down her stomach until it rested against the edge of her jeans. Then I let just the tip of my finger break the seal and rest up against the edge of her panties. No resistance, actually her only reaction was to suddenly stick her tongue in my mouth so deep that I’m sure she was licking my tonsils.

So on I pressed. I pushed my finger in further again, this time penetrating the edge of her panties. Still no resistance. So I suddenly thrust forwards so that my finger was now engulfed in her pubic hair, which caused me at once to nearly soil my underpants, I mean more than they were already, and also to realized my new major obstacle, my finger was no where near long enough to get all the way to the holy land, and her jeans were way too tight to consider getting my whole hand under there. This was just enough of an obstacle to give me an excuse to chicken out of that particular adventure, for now anyway.

I was very disappointed with this decision though. I had felt enough of that area to desperately want to feel a lot more, but I couldn’t summon up the confidence to undo her pants right there on the floor, despite the orgy going on just meters away from us. I needed a new plan, plan B, plan breasts. If I couldn’t get under those panties I wanted to get under that bra. I was less shy about going breast hunting now, and moved by hands back over them as casually as I would pick my nose at home alone, no self-consciousness at all.

After a good solid fondle I went for a tunnel under. Again I was struck down by tightness. It’s almost like these clothes items are designed to frustrate us boys. I pushed on in vain for several seconds until Lisa stopped me, “damn busted” I sighed to myself

“You can’t go under there” She said

“I’m sorry…I’ll be a good boy now…promise” I replied with hope pouring out of me that she wouldn’t cancel the whole thing because of one error in judgment

“No….I mean it will give me a breast wedgie if you put your hand under aye….hang on” Then she reached up under her jumper around her back, and when her hands reappeared she was holding her bra

“I like you” I thought

“Now come here sexy” She said to me as she pulled me back on top of her and returned to kissing games.

It didn’t take me long to return to my exploration, and the now naked breasts I found underneath were just down right spectacular. Like two enormous soft cushions. I squeezed and fondled and rubbed like a blind man trying to find his way home from the pub.

Then I decided to test out another of my senses on this area of wonder, my taste buds. I kissed my way back down her neck, then jumped down on to her stomach, and then kissed my way back up under her shirt so that my head was lost under there too. I couldn’t see where I was going but her breasts weren’t hard to find, like trying to find Everest I suppose, if you’re near by your going to run into it. I started licking and sucking like a lost sailor on a deserted island who had finally managed to get one coconut down from the tree. Until I found her nipple, which I engulfed with my mouth, so that it felt practically as big and as hard as my own erect body part. She moaned as I began to flick it with my tongue. I moved over to her other breast and repeated this and then swapped back and forth each time I ran out of air, having my entire mouth and nose smothered in sweet breast fat.

After a few times on each Lisa whispered “JayJay…..kiss me”, so I returned my tongue to other duties and began to think of a new plan of attack on the holy land. I had to try and undo those jeans, and there was no way to slowly move towards that, I just had to do it, right now. So down I went, both hands straight for her fly. “Why the hell do chicks have button up flies” I thought as I struggled with the first one, until I was caught by the holy lands defense.

“No JayJay” Lisa said

“Sorry” I replied

“Its ok….I just think its time for me to go to bed”

“Fuck, you’ve fucking fucked it haven’t you” I yelled at myself....

“Can you come with me….I need you to help me with something?”

“Ok I’ll come”

“Fuck yeah, I think you’re going to get fucked” I yelled at myself, this time with much more joy in my tone....

We rose to our feet and I looked down towards my crotch area. I was horrified to see not just a huge un-missable bulge like ..Mount Fuji.. in the Japanese country side, but surrounding it an enormous wet spot. I thought fast, and then pulled Lisa in towards me for a hug, she couldn’t see that if she was up against me, she could feel it, but surely by now she had felt that sticking into her.

I began to try and guide her towards the bedrooms, but she stopped me and said her room was down the hallway, even better. As we opened the door I couldn’t help but turn around and survey the scene behind me one more time. One of the band members was lying on the floor while one girl was riding him up and down, and one girl was squatting on his face. The two other guys were both having sex with one girl from behind, which I wasn’t quite sure how could actually work, while the rest of the girls just sat around watching in various states of self exploration. What a surreal night.

We walked down the hall holding hands until we reached Lisa’s room. When we got there she stopped and pushed me up against the wall and kissed me deeply and passionately. Then she stopped and turned to her door and pulled out her room keycard and began to fiddle with it in her hands.

“JayJay” She said

“Yeah Lisa” I replied

“This is sort of embarrassing”

“Don’t be embarrassed”

“Well you don’t know what I am about to say yet do you… me its embarrassing”

“Its ok Lisa… don’t have to be embarrassed with me”

“I know”

“So just tell me”

“Ok……well the thing is…..I mean the reason that……that I brought you down here” She paused now for a long time all the while fiddling with her room keycard “is that I need…..I need your help with something”


“It’s just that…..I need you to help me with my V card”

“Your V card?” I repeated

“Yeah you know” The whole time she had been talking to me she had been starring down at that keycard in her hand, as she said this she looked up right into my eyes, just briefly, then looked right back down at her keycard.

“Oh your card….you need help with your card” I suddenly realized that she was talking about her keycard, she needed help using it to get into her room “You fucking prick tease, I really thought you might be bringing me down here to take me into your room, not help you get in and leave me all alone, fuck you” I thought, “No fuck you JayJay you stupid moron…you ruined this by trying to undo her pants….why cant you just be happy with what you get…you had unlimited access to a set of enormous breasts and as much kissing as you wanted…and you gave it up to try and get to a holy land your completely unprepared for” I yelled at my brain.

I took the key out of her hand and stuck it in the card slot at her door. It took about six slides in and out to get the green light to come on so we could open the door. “Now I know why she needed some help….not quite the sliding in and out I wanted” I thought. We paused there with the door open for a few seconds, with her standing in the door way and me using my eyes as best I could to plead with her to ask me in.





She kissed me. Then we paused again. Then she kissed me again. Then we paused again.





“I hate de-javu” I thought

Again she kissed me. Then she said “Goodnight” and suddenly closed the door and disappeared inside.

“FUCK” I screamed at my brain, so loud that if I was actually yelling it out of my mouth, instead of just in my head, then I would of woken people up in whole other cities.

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