Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Little known facts about Tiger Woods

If you spell check his name backwards it spells 'regret dope' which is a clear admission of a past heroin addiction (please ignore the fact that regit does not spell check to regret, but it damn god should)

His agents are working on a deal with the tabloids that if they agree to say they have made all this scandal up he'll agree to be castrated and play the next Masters with his testicles as his golf balls

He has three pet camels

If you spell check his name backwards it spells legit dope, which in his mind makes him feel he is the 'reverse' of a dope

He'll only play on golf courses with 'green' grass continuing golfs cruel tradition of prejudice against purple grass

During a tournament last year his caddie asked him 'which wood would mr woods like to tee off with' and Tiger repeated 'which wood would mr woods' over and over again, laughing and laughing, then he raped a spectator in the adjacent woods

He once completed a round of putt putt golf in 27 shots using his dick for a putter

He nick-named himself tiger when as a kid he he did a poo full of carrot bits, 'orange and brown, thats cool, like a tiger' he exclaimed at the time

Everytime he gets into a golf cart with someone new he says the joke 'is this cart small, or are we just giants' and he never cares that people never laugh

He only turned to golf after discovering that catching flys and picking their wings off is not a proffesional sport

After winning all the golf majors he now dreams of obtaining all the major STDs

He only cheats when he has had too much Coors Light


I know what your thinking, whats wrong with Tiger having three pet camels?

Well I'm going to answer this one in ART form, why? Cause sometimes I make attempts at art when I've been drinking, hell yeah, thats why

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