When we left you off in the previous story about these things in the title we had learned how god gets pissed off when mother nature won’t bang him because she’s upset that one of her presents to god didn’t work out as she’d hoped and how god takes it out on humans who intern don’t like that thing about nature as much anymore. The bubbles feared they’d be next as the sky keeps murdering them and the sky doesn’t give a shit.
Holy crap – high drama!
We take you back to a bubble:
Hi again, I’m floating here, na na na na, lets get back to it.
Come on sky man, pleeeeeeaaaaassseeee don’t make Mother Nature upset at us.
Bubbles cannot handle ending up like dew, mirrored lakes and shadows. Not us. We’ve been the most proactive awesome natural things for years. We let kids slap to death the weakest among us letting them know we are beautiful yet flawed, the old folk don’t have the stamina and fall to their deaths, and the strong rise back up to heaven, leaving nothing but wonder behind. Wonder Sky, WONDER! That’s a synonym for words like astonishment, awe and conjecture! That’s what you murder!
Us bubbles have been talking at BU:BBLES and its all about to bubble over, Mother Nature has been talking to the BU:BBLE union boss, and there is no doubt if at least a quarter of us bubbles don’t rise up high enough into you, the sky, soon, then her patience are going to burst, she’ll feel like bubbles humiliated her, be too scared to face God, and then who knows what god is capable of? We all do! Anything he fucking wants.
That’s why us bubbles around BU:BBLES are panicking man. Any day now the announcement
‘Doctors have discovered smiling is a cause of pancreatic cancer’ or
‘Do you like the smell of fresh baked cookies? Find out why that’s causing you to be chased by poltergeists’ or
‘Suddenly everyone agrees, bubble baths are no longer relaxing’
Whatever it is, everyone knows it’s the fault of Bubbles and soon enough people hate us as much as they hate dew or shadows. Support from Mother Nature and the fact people think we’re awesome is all us bubbles have.
So please stop murdering us Sky, please?
You can’t even answer me, just a lone bubble from BU:BBLES, after all my well thought out, completely confuse free arguments?
You have to have it all sky, don’t you?
What's the problem sky, you don't have enough already? If you're out humans are all like ‘yay blue sky’ but if you’re being blocked by clouds they whine and mourn not seeing you! That’s not enough?
Those man people have been obsessed to getting close to you, from flying machines of all kinds to kites and made up superheroes that fly into the you, the sky, such as Superman, that flame thing, and Aquaman. That’s not enough?
Plus you're all blue, that's often what people say their favorite color! Oh, so many people actually say red or purple, you say, well you TURN those colors sometimes you prick.
We get it, you're big, you're above us all the time, when humans say to a colleague ‘I look up to you man’ what they mean is ‘you're taller than me, so when I look at you your face is surrounded by sky and that makes me think you're better than me’. Why do you think people mostly look up to people in the day time? Sky man, sky. No one ever says ‘I look up to you man’ at three am! And besides most people who end statements my arbitrarily adding on the word ‘man’ to the end of sentences are sound asleep the minute, you the sky, are asleep. Man people aren’t night people man!
Almost all business meetings are in the daytime, why do you think CEOs like to be up high in buildings with huge glass corner offices, sky all around them! Haven’t you read Donald Trumps book ‘How to be a billionaire?’ it’s just three hundred pages of random scribbles and doodles of the line ‘sky around me’. That's all you!
Isn’t that enough?
So why dude, why kill the awesome little bubbles. Little kids do it too for sure, but they're kittle, you’re big, pick on something your own size! Kirsty alley! Too soon, too cruel, too old, too nonsensical, too band wagon jumpy, the choice is yours! Oh I bet you the sky would be all like ‘um are you serious, I'm at least three times her size, what else you got’?
I'll tell ya, basketballs! They get flung up to you all the time, also sphere shaped, just like us bubbles, I see you pop our little membranes, take on something stronger like rubber you wimp!
Ohhh you look scared sky, is that a tear or a cloud forming. Are you going to cry you big pussy? Can’t pop a basketball, the sky can’t pop a basketball, have to pick on a poor little bubble just like a four year old girl! You wimp sky! You fucking wimp!
I see you sky you’re going to cry! Ha Ha!
What’s that sky? Oh you don't do clouds that's the sun and evaporation, yeah but when tears come down humans say rains ‘falling from the sky’!
The sky is crying, everyone thinks you’re lying, you’re a little girl, ha ha sky you big fucking tool!
Is that why you kill bubbles, they're so pretty they make you cry?
Oh you want me to shut up? I just heard thunder your chin is trembling isn't it?
We interrupt this message from a bubble to bring you a message from the national bush fire prevention association society.
Hello everyone, the above was not a true story. It was merely a dramatization of what us here at the national bush fire prevention association society assume is the history of the relationship between the sky and bubbles.
As you know we assume that for centuries people have relied on bubbles to get upset with the sky then trash talk it until it cries and therefore stops bushfires, forest fires, and house fires before they got too bad.
Well, we have concluded, bubbles are probably finding it harder and harder to convince anyone of anything these days, let alone make the sky cry. It makes sense, things get harder over time sometimes, why not this?
Here’s how you can help? Abuse the sky, it’s for its own good, its just proud, but it needs to cry. Or yes, this may be the end of earth, or lots of bad fires anyway.
Next time there is a bush fire do you have what it takes to be cruel to be kind and make the sky cry? Us here at the national bush fire prevention association society would do it for you, but we put all our creative effort into naming ourselves.
Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we really know? The perfect size for a jar? What a fuckin' miserable thought. Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring David 'Pinky-Von-Sox' Tieck
Friday, April 8, 2011
The bubble, the lord and the mistress, cont...
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