Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Kanye West vs Adolf Hitler, a study

Kanye West interrupted his concert yesterday to complain that ‘people look at me like I'm Hitler’. Hmmm, I’ve never done that myself, and I despise Kanye, but now that YOU raise it Kanye, I am willing to play ball. Why don’t we play a lovely, happy happy, game of Kanye West vs Adolf Hitler, a study yaaaay:

Hitler – Stupid mustache
Kanye – Stupid plastic stripy sun glass things

Hitler – Stole Swastika design from Buddhists
Kanye – Steals beats, music and choruses from real musicians

Hitler – Known for powerful impassioned speeches
Kanye – Known for whiney rants

Hitler - Tried to eradicate the Jews, gypsies, and homosexuals
Kanye – Trying to eradicate good music, credibility of Grammies and his ability to seem anything but retarded

Hitler - Stormed into Poland to start a truly awful war
Kanye - Stormed onto awards show stage to make ridiculous claims about a truly awful song

Seriously Kanye, that all the singles ladies piece of shit was fucking despicable. ‘If you like it he soulda put a ring on it’? Really we’re supposed to waste three months of salary just cause we only like a girl. Shut the fuck up, and buy your own ring

Hitler - As a dinner guest would be controversial yet fascinating
Kanye- As a dinner guest would make you pull out a steak knife, stab out your own ear drums and gouge out your eye balls

Hitler - Rebuilt Germany only to destroy it
Kanye - Rebuilds others peoples music only to destroy it

Leave other peoples art alone you prick.

Hitler - Built an evil dictatorship and falsely called it socialism
Kanye - Makes mix tapes of other peoples music, talks over some of it and falsely calls himself an artist

Seriously Kanye, an artist is someone who creates something. Imagine a novelist using ‘samples’ of other better novels. It would be called plagiarism and they would be blacklisted from the arts. If you want to be an artist make all your own shit you piece of shit.

Hitler - Had legions of supporters now considered stupid and evil
Kanye - Has legions of supporters who must have been conceived using nuclear power plant toxic waste as a lubricant

Where do you get that lube, cause we should probably throw it down a mineshaft, along with every Kanye CD.

Hitler - Was a leading cause of death to Europeans
Kanye - Every album he's made has been post 911, and every year he continues there is at least one world wide catastrophe, coincidence? Hell no. Also I have it on good knowledge that babies have cried way more than average since his first song.

Really Kanye, making babies cry? Ever had to sit next to one on a plane. Oh no, you fly private jets, with plasma screens and Internet connection; Hitler never had any of those.

Hitler - Bombed England every night, yet they stood strong and united
Kanye - Entered England this week and there are riots and looting

Slow clap for you Kanye, you made a strong, resilient, loyal nation turn on each other.

Hitler - Made Anne frank hide in attic scared to leave and have Hitler kill her
Kanye - Makes music lovers hide in attic scared to face anyone who likes his songs and be forced to kill them

Hey if you want people dead Kanye at least have the balls to do it yourself.

Hitler - Made people listen to radio every night for war updates
Kanye - Radio listenership has been falling and falling every year since Kanye started. Coincidence? Hell no. I also have it on good authority that since Kanye released his first album that Alien sightings have been down. Yes, that's right, even aliens want to avoid earth now.

Thanks Kanye, one of those aliens probably has a cure to cancer and AIDs. Be proud of all the deaths you are allowing.

Hitler - Killed himself ending the war
Kanye – Refuses to kill himself allowing his music to go on, and on, and on, like a never ending water fall of vomit pouring all over the world, that just wont stop, please wont it stop, please, for the love of god PLEAAAASEEEE!!

Hitler – Never personally hurt anyone with his own hands
Kanye - Once proudly claimed in the song American Boy 'I'm feeling like Mike at his baddest’

Kanye! You’re feeling like Michael Jackson, a pedophile, at his baddest??!!!! So you are basically proud to rap about a confession that you yourself are as bad as a man raping young boys in your own song? What the hell are you doing? It’s HORRIBLE! DESPICABLE! Oh my god, how are you not in jail?

Hitler - One of the worst humans in history
Kanye - One of the worst humans in history

So hmmm, Kanye being compared to Hitler fair on not? I'll let you decide on your own that yes, it’s very, very, very fair.

Thanks for pointing it out Kanye, or else I would have been forced to merely compare your music to the only sound potentially worse - a parrot being shoved into a waste disposal unit.

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