Sunday, July 1, 2012

I had an interesting day

One of the best things about having an interesting day is lots of interesting things happen, sometimes LOTS of interesting things. Here is a list of interesting things that happened to me on this interesting day. If you ask me this is LOTS of things.

-I saw three girls, all around 8-12 years old going nuts, and screaming and jumping up and down. You see they'd just met, and gotten autographs and photos with Johnny Depp. Well so they thought.  It was actually one of about twelve look alikes that hang on Hollywood Blvd, but they were CONVINCED it was Johnny. Kind of sad really.
- I got jealous of the real Johnny Depp for having that power over people.
- I realized that in that moment I was kind of suggesting when I'm nearly fifty I'd like it if 11 year old girls get horny for me.
- Even though I realized that's creepy I still kind of like the idea. Kind of sad really.
- Not that I would do anything with young girls obviously.
- I bought two pairs of shorts.
- Again, I would never do anything with young girls, but my jealousy at them getting horny for fake middle aged Johnny Depp instead of me made me silently enjoy the thought of the girls calling their friends boasting about who they’d met, only then to show the photos and have it pointed out that the man in those photos is definitely not Johnny Depp.
- I went for a long walk
- I saw Two homeless people talking, and the Mexican one was apologizing to the African American one for all the injustice his people have faced with the tag 'now I've said it, can we just be friends again?'
- I nearly got hit by a car as it angrily overtook another car, furious at its cruel insistence at not running me over as I crossed at a green light.
- I thought about buying a t-shirt but didn't find any I liked. Kind of sad really.
- In my mind if I was those girls friends I would be forever pointing out non celebrities and saying ' look it's brad Pitt, you should get an autograph’ and then referencing the time they claimed they saw Johnny Depp for comedic effect.
- I drank an orange juice.
- On my walk I passed the strip mall where I'd once seen a real douchey guy jump out of his Ferrari without opening the car door and as a joke I said to my friend 'look, it's the singer from Maroon 5' - my friend still tells people he saw Adam Lavine - I like to make fun of my friend for this.
- If I saw an old woman get out of a Porsche I may say 'look it's Steven Tyler, get an autograph - you know cause remember how you say you saw Adam Lavine’?
- I saw several very attractive girls in bikinis, and I say attractive because they were in their twenties which is an age group of girls I actually do want to get horny for me, and so unlike with those young girls I did think naughty thoughts, so there is definitely nothing creepy about me!
- None of them seemed to get horny for me and this made me jealous.
- If I were their friends I would totally find ways to make fun of them.
- Turns out I may be a dick
- If I apologize to an African American for all the injustice they've face can we please be friends again? Although if I ever become as big an asshole as the guy that nearly hit me with his car please hang me.

Yep Hollywood people, where you have to really FIGHT to avoid super, super interesting things, not interesting t-shirts though, boo.

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