Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Here comes the story of the Biting Man

The Biting Man

Teeth dig into shoulder on a Brazilian afternoon
Screams are let out by two with wounds
One is clutching his shoulder one his teeth
The Italian cries out 'you bit me' good grief
Here comes the story of the biting man
With an overbite and taste for human arm
His biting has definitely done some harm
Now a borderline cannibal but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

First time he was playing in Holland you see
Another player was marking him brilliantly
Suarez says "I wanna score a goal you're making it tough"
The defender says 'that's my job, so tough luck"
So on the shoulder Suarez bit him hard
But his career wasn't fatally marred
Because then FIFA went all soft
'They basically let him off?'
And soon he was back on the field

Biting another human is a disgusting act
There's no player good enough to get away with that
But Suarez is one of the best players around
Scores goals so sublime he can excite any town
By now he's been bought by one of the worlds best teams
And Suarez thinks 'I can get away with anything it seems'
In football that just the way things go
Racial abuse and cheating just the way that he rolls
And somehow his value increased

This second time he was playing for Liverpool FC
A team with lots of honor and rich history
Suarez thought 'Fuck this teams reputation'
I'll chew on someone's arm they'll only give me probation
But he actually got suspended for ten games
Suarez turned around and said 'the media's to blame'
Liverpool supported him through it all
They liked the way he kicked them foot balls
And even for 40 million they wouldn't let him leave

When his suspension is over he makes a return
With a point to prove and a bad reputation to burn
He starts scoring goals at such a rapid rate
The media seem to forget about 'he-bit-me-gate'
Here's the story of the biting man
With a rat like face and taste for human flesh
That prick he'll never confess
Now a cannibal but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

Holy shit this song is a fucking long one
Oh wait, ha ha, I just thought of an awesome pun
I might have bitten off more here than I can chew
This song is harder than human skin to get through

On to Brazil and Suarez reputation is fine
The biggest clubs in the world are saying he's 'MINE'!
The form he is in Uruguay could win the world cup!
That's unless Suarez seriously fucks up
How can the biggest sport in the land
Let itself be tainted by such a man
The game doesn't deserve this hit
Plus what's the deal with his stupid hand tape shit?
What a stupid little prick

Suarez can score goals that will blow you away
But that's not his favorite part of soccer these days
It's just a chance to get close to other's limbs
So he can salivate up and bite down some skin
That's the story of the biting man
But it won't be over till he gets a life ban
And we take back all his accolades
He's a filthy cannibal but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

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