If you ask me New Years Eve is less about paper hats than people
think. At the moment I think most people give around 1.8% of their time on NYE
thinking about paper hats. That's a global average based on my research, and
may be different in your region, but that's based on how much people say they plan to think and talk about paper hats
during their personal brand of NYE celebration/ lonely sitting at home wishing
they had someone to love, or even talk to.
Yet, YET, when I go up to people at parties, or knock on random
doors at houses where I can hear sad music and can see through the window to a
noose hanging from the ceiling, and ask 'were you just thinking and/or
conversing about paper hats?’ Only 1.4% say yes. And in the miserable people
category those who say they were conversing about paper hats 58.56% of the time
it turns out they were conversing with a goldfish, and that's not even a warm
water fish so as if it counts.
Well screw that, I’m not allowing lies to be how the new years
starts. I am thinking and talking about paper hats so much tonight that I will
save those who thought they would think about it 1.8% of the night and fail to
do so, and by doing so, I will start off the new year a god damn hero.
Stay happy and safe everyone, and have the best end of the year
of your life!
No comments:
Post a Comment