Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Inside the best day of my life - speed danger

Here's something different - I decided to try the dictation, voice recognition thing on my phone, and then wrote a blog using it. 

The following is it in its full rambling misheard word riddled punctuation free glory. I had to do it I small chunks because the guy in India listening in and typing it up would freak out and make me start again all the time, so here are the chunks, and at the end of each I'll sum it up coherently and profoundly. Yay. 

Hello this is me using the dictation thing on my phone I have never used this before but I don't have much battery is left in the Greeley like to ride this thing tonight because I righted every night and that's not a complaint it's not I don't know why people thinking that I was complaining that's not what I was saying I'm the thing is okay him what wisest sounding okay I was just listening to a podcast and it was very at it was full of anxiety

Sum up: Some guy called Greeley nearly got shot!!!

Okay so unique and do certain bits so this will come in small amounts and am that's fine and I had the best day of my life is the point and am you know I'm losing you technology right now I've never used me technology before this the first time normally I wait until every other person on earth has used the technology and then suddenly of it's just part of the world have an excellent used it it's just that I don't mean like taking money out of ATM machines many times and yes they are called ATM machines because that's what we call them again as if that Aaron was

Sum Up: by a guy named Aaron at at ATM!

Today was the best day of my life and I'll tell you why I just figured out how to use the dictation thing on my phone so I am not writing this I am saying it can you believe that it's like I'm talking to you people like with my voice and even though you don't email voice even read it later that's like two different home you know senses hearing and the other one and I think I talked about senses yesterday you know I think maybe I'm I'm really connected to my senses right now I like where I'm sitting I can I'm here I'm gonna Paco I can eat some form of bug guy

Sum Up: Because Aaron found out Greeley is a cannibal who's been eating exterminators! Wow. Ironic. 

Something bug but going make me melt what is the dictation gonna think I said it it doesn't get it right there's gonna be also some mistakes in this inning to fix them later or maybe I will write jokes to all you know observations about the mistakes and it will be fun for school and think should be fun you know like I had fun once when I was in a Pok I'm in a park right now so there's proof and I'm having fun right now sometimes I make it Siri and I prove it correct instantly it's like it's like you know when lightning strikes and he turned face

Sum up: So Aaron tried to shoot Greeley, with plans to melt him using the equipment at a restaurant named Pok owned by a lady called Siri! Wow. Cool restaurant name.

When lightning strikes and it's him in the face you know in that moment that you have a theory that lightning hitting you in the face and then instantly you find out with that theory is true and now I have that theory but I have never been approve the correct show as I'm speaking even though there was no signs of any form of lightning and thunder I mean is circling around and often I'll have just like a cloud following me around and shooting running it might be Sunday but I don't have a crowd today and so I don't know if I will get hit by lightning in the face as I'm talking here but I'm presenting theory an

Sum up! But Greeley was running so fast when Aaron tried to shoot him that a crowd formed to watch, a crowd so big that it'll take till Sunday for them all to disperse! 

I would like that theory to be proven correct like just before I had a theory that I could have fun in o'clock and I know to be true because I'm in a park talking into the phone and you want to read those thoughts later that's the theory and approve and you know I think of politicians could do that occasionally then maybe we live in a better world but they cannot they have series and they have proof but it's name approve of the theory it's like I can prove that there is a break in this building okay that great proof and I have a theory that the

Sum up: And now because of his awesome speed, which was proven to not be aided by performance enhancing drugs, Greeley has been voted the new town mayor! Wow. Awesome reason to elect someone. 

That the world would be better if there were no Alaskan Game hens am flying at me so launching sites and really distracting the protesters that is standing that better actually think they protesting abortion clinic but it actually there abortion clinic move down the road very common politician Siri I don't know if I had to prove it but I don't have a very big at Coleman and and that's the problem with this world so today's been the best day of my life

Sum Up: And then Siri turned down Aaron's proposal of marriage, and instead chose a man named Coleman, who is apparently 'very big', and so Aaron, heartbroken and horrified at having a cannibal as Mayor, has felt the need to escape to Alaska, where he is working at an Abortion Clinic undercover as a game hen so he can sneak in past the protesters, who are distracting! Holy shit. They hire game Hens at abortion clinics? Very progressive, I like it. 

The End

Oh and I am not Aaron, so today is the best day of my life. 

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