Friday, December 26, 2014

Chucking The Best Day of my Life – I better put those on

Today was best day of my life. This is in spite of the fact that I have procured myself a huge steaming bag of the reality of having earned myself a very minor wrist injury. I got it punching a boxing bag. I punched it light, with naked fists, and then I noticed the boxing gloves sitting next to the bag and thought 'I better put those on or else I might hurt myself' then I put them on and hurt myself with my next punch. How awesome is irony???

And now here is things you learn while having a very, very minor wrist injury:

1. You can have the best day of your life even on a day you have to go easy on high fives.
- Like sure, if someone raises their hand and says something like 'right on bro' you’re gonna hit that hand, to not would make you an outcast, but it'll be at 50% of possible velocity at best.
- Ok, yeah, if he adds a 'am I right bro' you might get up to 65%.
- Yes, no, you're right; if it turns out that he was right bro then 75%. But you'll regret it. Wish he hadn't been right even.
- Unless he's a real good bro, in which case you'd instead wish your wrist didn't hurt.
- Unless your bro is sometimes a dick in which case you'd instead wish his wrist was hurt.
- Then again if he's sometimes a dick then you probably never agreed that he was right bro, at best you'd have thought 'you may be right bro... Unless your being a dick'
- This of course is all assuming that your bro isn't you're actual bro, as in your brother, biologically speaking, or emotionally, I'm not here to judge your definition of a brother, or your relationship with them, that's your business, but if it's your actual brother, let's face it, you’re probably not going to high five them. I mean you shared a bath with him for Christ's sake. How are you not scarred for life? (Or brought forever into a hugging relationship, again I'm not here to judge how you relate with your brothers).
- I have a great relationship with MY brothers, just to be clear.
- But I’m not talking about that kind of bro, I am talking about a bro who isn’t a literal bro, you know?
- And situations when you high five them.
- With a slightly injured wrist.
2. I don't like the term 'bro'. Actually I really hate it. That’s it, I am never using it ever again.
3. I have no idea what having a sister is like.
4. ‘In spite’ of the fact? Was that right way up there near the top of this blog? Or should it have been ‘despite the fact’? It’s hard to use correct language when your wrist is hurting so you need to keep your writing brief, to the point, and to end it swiftly and distinctly.
5. Hey I just noticed that ‘wrist’ and ‘write’ share a lot of similarities. I wonder if that’s a coincidence? I am starting to think back in the 1900s when half the population wrote with hands, and the other half with feet, that the wristy people had a vested interest in the word ‘writing’ becoming the norm, when it so easily could have been instead called ‘toeing’.
6. Am I right bro?

No comments:

Post a Comment