Today was the best day of my life. That doesn’t mean my day was perfect. Oh no siree. Like for example at one point today my alarm went off on my phone, which is the alarm I use to wake me up in the morning, and at the time this alarm went off I was presently in the position I normally find myself in when I am asleep, or one of the positions if I am honest, I have twelve very distinct sleeping positions, which you can study in more detail by reading one the many essays I have written on the subject of sleep positioning for medical journals around the world, both online and off, and sometimes even BOTH!
Although if you want a summation of my position on sleep positioning it can be neatly summarized by summarizing this sentence – ‘sleep position sucks’. Which is a very hard sentence to summarize, because by definition a summary should be shorter than the thing it was summarizing, and in this example the thing that needs to be summarized is only three words, and frankly all three words are very key to the argument, and make up deeply thought provoking reasoning behind the conclusion as discussed in the theory. But shorten it we must, I guess, because that’s the way I promised that a summation of my position could best be attained.
Ok, let’s try – sleep sucks.
Well, ok, that’s a summation, it falls within the criteria of that definition – but frankly I do not concur with this conclusion, so I will try again.
Here we go – sleep position.
Well that tells us fuck all. One more try.
Ok, fine, I will admit it. I broke of more than I could chew, and frankly I wouldn’t want to chew it because even though I very much enjoy the flavor of ‘failure to make my point’, I find the texture to be a tad stringy for my taste. Wait, that last line was an idiom failure if I have ever smelled one.
So my phone alarm was going off.
Oh wait, I remember a summation of my position on sleep positions that I remembered being satisfied with – I think limiting and/or extending your sleep positions to exactly twelve is both stupid and difficult.
That’s a bit long now that I think about it. I might try to summarize it.
Ok, here goes – sleep position.
Fuck! We’re back there again.
So my phone alarm goes off, and you know what? I wasn’t happy about it, because at that time I was asleep, and I wasn’t about to wake up if my alarm had not gone off, which is a sure sign to me that I did not want to be awake, as was the cursing, hitting my phone, and saying ‘shut the fuck up phone, I am not ready to get up okay, I am not FUCKING READY! BE QUIET. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!’
Now, I typically count my day as starting, not at midnight when the calendar says I should, but when I wake up for the day, like we all did till those Ancient Aztec Pharaohs like Socrates and Freud invented the calendar and the moon to fuck with us. So at this time, during which I was screaming blue murder, red murder, and even burgundy murder at my phone, this time had by this time taken up pretty much my entire day at this time. So at one point my day was almost a hundred percent negative, by this time when looking at time based on a time system.
Then lots went on. Lots of it really shitty. It’s been a hard day to be Australian, and live in Sydney. This blog is not to discuss things like the awful events still unfolding as I write. I wish and hope for the best for everyone involved.
This blog is to focus on the good. The day started awful, as always, for me. Never once have I been happy to wake up. Then some good stuff happened today too. I conversed with some people I care about. I had some laughs. I barely ate all day, other than a few healthy snacks, which I choose to believe is the right thing for my health. So yeah, I choose to still say it was the best day of my life, and leave it at that.
(Ps I also think I saw a ghost in my apartment. I thought the same thing last night. I think if it happens a third time I will write about it – or at least give a very clear summation of the experience).