Today was the best day of my life. That
doesn’t mean my day was perfect. Oh no siree. Like for example at one point
today my alarm went off on my phone, which is the alarm I use to wake me up in
the morning, and at the time this alarm went off I was presently in the
position I normally find myself in when I am asleep, or one of the positions if
I am honest, I have twelve very distinct sleeping positions, which you can
study in more detail by reading one the many essays I have written on the
subject of sleep positioning for medical journals around the world, both online
and off, and sometimes even BOTH!
Although if you want a summation of my
position on sleep positioning it can be neatly summarized by summarizing this
sentence – ‘sleep position sucks’. Which is a very hard sentence to summarize,
because by definition a summary should be shorter than the thing it was
summarizing, and in this example the thing that needs to be summarized is only
three words, and frankly all three words are very key to the argument, and make
up deeply thought provoking reasoning behind the conclusion as discussed in the
theory. But shorten it we must, I guess, because that’s the way I promised that
a summation of my position could best be attained.
Ok, let’s try – sleep sucks.
Well, ok, that’s a summation, it falls
within the criteria of that definition – but frankly I do not concur with this
conclusion, so I will try again.
Here we go – sleep position.
Well that tells us fuck all. One more try.
Position sucks.
Ok, fine, I will admit it. I broke of more
than I could chew, and frankly I wouldn’t want to chew it because even though I
very much enjoy the flavor of ‘failure to make my point’, I find the texture to
be a tad stringy for my taste. Wait, that last line was an idiom failure if I
have ever smelled one.
So my phone alarm was going off.
Oh wait, I remember a summation of my
position on sleep positions that I remembered being satisfied with – I think
limiting and/or extending your sleep positions to exactly twelve is both stupid
and difficult.
That’s a bit long now that I think about
it. I might try to summarize it.
Ok, here goes – sleep position.
Fuck! We’re back there again.
So my phone alarm goes off, and you know
what? I wasn’t happy about it, because at that time I was asleep, and I wasn’t
about to wake up if my alarm had not gone off, which is a sure sign to me that
I did not want to be awake, as was the cursing, hitting my phone, and saying
‘shut the fuck up phone, I am not ready to get up okay, I am not FUCKING READY!
BE QUIET. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!’
Now, I typically count my day as starting,
not at midnight when the calendar says I should, but when I wake up for the
day, like we all did till those Ancient Aztec Pharaohs like Socrates and Freud
invented the calendar and the moon to fuck with us. So at this time, during
which I was screaming blue murder, red murder, and even burgundy murder at my
phone, this time had by this time taken up pretty much my entire day at this
time. So at one point my day was almost a hundred percent negative, by this time
when looking at time based on a time system.
Then lots went on. Lots of it really
shitty. It’s been a hard day to be Australian, and live in Sydney. This blog is
not to discuss things like the awful events still unfolding as I write. I wish
and hope for the best for everyone involved.
This blog is to focus on the good. The day
started awful, as always, for me. Never once have I been happy to wake up. Then
some good stuff happened today too. I conversed with some people I care about.
I had some laughs. I barely ate all day, other than a few healthy snacks, which
I choose to believe is the right thing for my health. So yeah, I choose to
still say it was the best day of my life, and leave it at that.
(Ps I also think I saw a ghost in my
apartment. I thought the same thing last night. I think if it happens a third time
I will write about it – or at least give a very clear summation of the
experience).
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