Wednesday, January 7, 2015

A note on my last post

If anyone was worrying, wondering or whimpering in fear for how my walk home ended up, I issue the following statement:

My phone did not die before I got home, but I lied in the past post, I was listening to a podcast not music, and I listened to it all the way home, and therefore was never once left with, shock horror, nothing to entertain me but my own fucked up brain.

However, due to lack of battery, and my obsessive need to not repeat the same walk ever, I did end up taking a less trodden path, through a scary bush trail, and was not willing to risk anymore battery to turn on my phones flashlight feature, which resulted in me A. walking through a spiderweb and B. spending three minutes or so at one point throwing sticks at something I thought may be a snake, but ended up being sticks.

Yes, this is how I actually prioritize my life - send post with a bit of something I think may be funny - battery needed. Watch out for deadly animals - battery not worth risking.

Three people read that post by the time I got home. Totally worth it.

Plus on this bush path I saw a kitty chasing a fox, and I enjoyed seeing that. I also saw some sort of hawk that seemed to be about half the size of a small car. I didn't think such animals existed in Australia. I therefore think that some form of evolutionary development has taken place which will soon see the world overrun with giant animals, run for your lives. Unless you think being eaten seems like it may be swell.

As I was writing this past paragraph I began to suspect that a spider was crawling on my back. I didn't think it was actually happening, as I think this very often, at least a hundred times an hour on days Ive walked through a spiderweb, but this time I did not check until I had finished suggesting being eaten might be fun. I thought that getting that potential humorous suggestion was worth more than my life potentially ending, ironically because of an animal bite.

Please note twice before in my life I have thought that a spider may be crawling on me and yet resisted the temptation to check knowing that I check all the fucking time and there never is a spider on me. Twice, thats how many times before I resisted. BOTH those times it turned out a spider WAS on me.

How the fuck I am alive is a mystery to me.

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