Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The best day of my life scenarios - I'll give you the stars

This evening I had to walk somewhere for 20 mins or so directly towards the beast of a hot summer's low setting sun. It inspired a lot of thoughts, such as:

- Holy fuck this sucks.
- I'm like walking right at this fucking thing.
- Seriously, sun, just fucking set you asshole.
- I mean honestly, 'sunset' is not supposed to mean 'set..tle into one annoying spot and stay there'! Move down for fucks sake sun.
- Yes I know it's actually the earth that's moving, not the sun. But honestly, do you think I have the power to make the earth move faster? That's pretty dumb. My telekinesis only works on stars dumbass!
- I like my shoe and sock combination today, matching blue white and red combo on both, but not EXACTLY matching, so it catches your eyes in a pleasant yet not quite right way.
- Walking staring at your feet isn't as bad as I remember it from my ridiculously shy 'please no one look at me' days.
- Yes, I can fucking so move stars with my mind thank you very much, every time I look at stars and think 'I'd like all them to be somewhere else', within a couple of hours or two they always are.
- Bullshit!
- No, not bullshit, no way, more like bull um... Cum? Is that the opposite of shit?
- Well it is fucking now, that'll totally take off and enter the mainstream popular term zeitgeist.
- Good for you, I agree awesome term, very useful too, people say bullshit all the time, you fucking should be able to say 'nahuh, bullCUM'.
- Thankyou, you're not arguing with me anymore?
- Nah, I AM you, well we share the same body and brain at least, and we're in public, I'll save my torture of your soul for home.
- Cheers bud.

Now I have a confession right now. I did not literally think all that as I walked towards the sun. In fact I wrote most this as I merely approached the sun setting in my face period of my day, in fearful anticipation, knowing what it's like, as I take this walk often at this time of the day on this day of the week. Yet when I arrived today the sun turned out not to be too bad. My telekinesis is clearly strengthening, and that other dude who lives in my head is weakening!

Oh my god, both those facts are awesome!

So yeah, best day of my life? BullCUM!!!

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