This evening I had to walk somewhere for 20 mins or so directly towards
the beast of a hot summer's low setting sun. It inspired a lot of
thoughts, such as:
- Holy fuck this sucks.
- I'm like walking right at this fucking thing.
- Seriously, sun, just fucking set you asshole.
- I mean honestly, 'sunset' is not supposed to mean 'set..tle into one
annoying spot and stay there'! Move down for fucks sake sun.
- Yes I know it's actually the earth that's moving, not the sun. But
honestly, do you think I have the power to make the earth move faster?
That's pretty dumb. My telekinesis only works on stars dumbass!
- I like my shoe and sock combination today, matching blue white and red
combo on both, but not EXACTLY matching, so it catches your eyes in a
pleasant yet not quite right way.
- Walking staring at your feet isn't as bad as I remember it from my ridiculously shy 'please no one look at me' days.
- Yes, I can fucking so move stars with my mind thank you very much,
every time I look at stars and think 'I'd like all them to be somewhere
else', within a couple of hours or two they always are.
- Bullshit!
- No, not bullshit, no way, more like bull um... Cum? Is that the opposite of shit?
- Well it is fucking now, that'll totally take off and enter the mainstream popular term zeitgeist.
- Good for you, I agree awesome term, very useful too, people say
bullshit all the time, you fucking should be able to say 'nahuh,
bullCUM'.
- Thankyou, you're not arguing with me anymore?
- Nah, I AM you, well we share the same body and brain at least, and
we're in public, I'll save my torture of your soul for home.
- Cheers bud.
Now I have a confession right now. I did not literally think all that as
I walked towards the sun. In fact I wrote most this as I merely approached the
sun setting in my face period of my day, in fearful anticipation, knowing what it's like, as I
take this walk often at this time of the day on this day of the week. Yet when I arrived today the
sun turned out not to be too bad. My telekinesis is clearly
strengthening, and that other dude who lives in my head is weakening!
Oh my god, both those facts are awesome!
So yeah, best day of my life? BullCUM!!!
Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we know? The perfect size for a jar? Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring Dave "Davey" David Tieck
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