Alright, I’ve debated with myself long
enough. I am just going to talk about it, because it’s on my mind, and that’s
enough of a reason.
I was at a comedy gig this evening and
walking back to my car. Upon the way I ran into a kitty on the street. If me
sees me a kitty me says hello to that kitty, that’s the way I do things.
Because I am an awesome human being.
Little known fact: Awesome human being =
person who says hello to kitties.
And that’s an equal sign up there, which
makes that math, and math is irrefutable. And irrefutable is an awesome word.
Like say if I write another novel any time soon, and I call it ‘The Irrefutable
License of Cleavability’ it would definitely sell a million copies. Even if
people don’t know what the fuck ‘cleavability’ means, because the title has the
word irrefutable in it, and that’s yet another irrefutable fact.
Oh fuck. I am going to have to write that
novel now. It’s too good a title to miss out on. I already have so many projects,
damn my epic ability to come up with awesome titles.
Back to the kitty. So I stopped and said
hello to the kitty, and the kitty came up to me to say hello back, because all
kitties love me as they can sense with kitty intuition that I have a great loving
heart, and are their friends.
Little known fact: Kitty intuition is the
most accurate measuring tool of loving hearts in the known universe. It’s even
more powerful than math!
I played with the kitty for a minute or
twelve, and then decided I should walk away before we became too attached to
each other. It tried to follow me for a little bit, and my heart broke a little
bit, but I pressed on.
Note to self: Keep the playing with street
cats down to eleven minutes next time, twelve is too dangerous on the love
front.
I got in my car and began to drive home,
but for some reason I didn’t feel like going home yet. I still wanted to get
some exercise tonight, and I thought why not go for my evening walk in the area
I was currently in, rather than driving home. So I parked and walked.
Eventually, a long way from where I saw the
kitty, a good few miles/ kilometers, I saw a ‘missing cat’ sign. The missing
cat looked very familiar. But it was a black and white photo, and a long way
from the cat I saw, so I didn’t think too much of it, and walked on. But I
started to see more of this poster, and I read the description, and googled the
breed, and matches kept coming up. So I messaged the number that I may have
seen their cat, and gave some info on my exchange and it’s location.
I wish I had a happy ending right now. I
don’t have a sad ending either, thankfully. I have no ending. The message I
sent is sitting as ‘delivered’ but not ‘read’. I couldn’t help myself and drove
back and tried to find the kitty again, but he was nowhere to be found. Lots of
other cats were though, so at least it’s a cat friendly area, and hopefully
another cat lover can give it some food, and help it find home.
Anyway, that’s why I wasn’t sure if I
wanted to write about it. I am worried for the missing kitty, its name is
Oliver, but there is nothing I can do. I have no idea if I saw him, or if I got
dangerously close to kidnapping someone else’s cat and giving it to the wrong
family.
So all I can do is say this – stay safe
tonight kitties of the world. If you are missing your families are looking for
you, and if they don’t find you and you run into me instead I promise I will
say hello and give you a little love.
Yeah, that’ll do for today’s blog.
Ps: Cleavability – the degree of ease which
material can be split.
But how did it get a license?
Keep your eye’s out and open for ‘The Irrefutable
License of Cleavability’ – in book stores in a couple of years, give or take,
it’s irrefutable!
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