The Finest Day of my being – and I hope


Alright, I’ve debated with myself long enough. I am just going to talk about it, because it’s on my mind, and that’s enough of a reason.

I was at a comedy gig this evening and walking back to my car. Upon the way I ran into a kitty on the street. If me sees me a kitty me says hello to that kitty, that’s the way I do things. Because I am an awesome human being.

Little known fact: Awesome human being = person who says hello to kitties.

And that’s an equal sign up there, which makes that math, and math is irrefutable. And irrefutable is an awesome word. Like say if I write another novel any time soon, and I call it ‘The Irrefutable License of Cleavability’ it would definitely sell a million copies. Even if people don’t know what the fuck ‘cleavability’ means, because the title has the word irrefutable in it, and that’s yet another irrefutable fact.

Oh fuck. I am going to have to write that novel now. It’s too good a title to miss out on. I already have so many projects, damn my epic ability to come up with awesome titles.

Back to the kitty. So I stopped and said hello to the kitty, and the kitty came up to me to say hello back, because all kitties love me as they can sense with kitty intuition that I have a great loving heart, and are their friends.

Little known fact: Kitty intuition is the most accurate measuring tool of loving hearts in the known universe. It’s even more powerful than math!

I played with the kitty for a minute or twelve, and then decided I should walk away before we became too attached to each other. It tried to follow me for a little bit, and my heart broke a little bit, but I pressed on.

Note to self: Keep the playing with street cats down to eleven minutes next time, twelve is too dangerous on the love front.

I got in my car and began to drive home, but for some reason I didn’t feel like going home yet. I still wanted to get some exercise tonight, and I thought why not go for my evening walk in the area I was currently in, rather than driving home. So I parked and walked.

Eventually, a long way from where I saw the kitty, a good few miles/ kilometers, I saw a ‘missing cat’ sign. The missing cat looked very familiar. But it was a black and white photo, and a long way from the cat I saw, so I didn’t think too much of it, and walked on. But I started to see more of this poster, and I read the description, and googled the breed, and matches kept coming up. So I messaged the number that I may have seen their cat, and gave some info on my exchange and it’s location.

I wish I had a happy ending right now. I don’t have a sad ending either, thankfully. I have no ending. The message I sent is sitting as ‘delivered’ but not ‘read’. I couldn’t help myself and drove back and tried to find the kitty again, but he was nowhere to be found. Lots of other cats were though, so at least it’s a cat friendly area, and hopefully another cat lover can give it some food, and help it find home.

Anyway, that’s why I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write about it. I am worried for the missing kitty, its name is Oliver, but there is nothing I can do. I have no idea if I saw him, or if I got dangerously close to kidnapping someone else’s cat and giving it to the wrong family.

So all I can do is say this – stay safe tonight kitties of the world. If you are missing your families are looking for you, and if they don’t find you and you run into me instead I promise I will say hello and give you a little love.

Yeah, that’ll do for today’s blog.

Ps: Cleavability – the degree of ease which material can be split.

But how did it get a license?


Keep your eye’s out and open for ‘The Irrefutable License of Cleavability’ – in book stores in a couple of years, give or take, it’s irrefutable!

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