I'm at a carwash right now, having my car washed by experts, because I'm not an expert.
Oh and lazy. Really lazy. Especially when it comes to huge physical ordeals like washing a car.
Did you know sometimes when you wash a car you end up getting your feet wet which can be rather uncomfortable, sometimes REALLY uncomfortable? And discomfort can lead you on the fast track to unpleasantness, sometimes SERIOUS unpleasantness? At least until they dry out or you change your socks? So yeah, leave the car washing to the pros people! Don't try and be a hero.
Speaking of heroes, something super heroic just happened to me. I was sitting here and one of the staff came to give me my keys back, only he had mistakenly thought a different car was mine - he assumed that the huge outback jungle faring pick up truck utility ute was mine!
This thing has a big flat back part, which is designed for moving and shifting things, sometimes relatively big things. Things that can only be moved or shifted by this vehicle if someone lifts them both in and eventually out of the flat bit. Which would take muscles.
This thing also has one of those big plastic snorkels attached, which I assume is because the vehicle is a fan of snorkeling, which often puts you face to face with all sorts of scary sea life, and possibly even creek life, which occasionally has mud!
This behemoth is also rather large. Which says out loud 'I'm not a small car chosen specifically to make parking, negotiating small spaces, and stuff like staying in the same lane easier, therefore my owner isn't scared of those things'.
Plus it has a back seat, which says 'I have friends, possibly even a family!'
And a tow ball thing, for towing shit, boats? Teenage boys standing on garbage can lids holding onto a flimsy rope? Oh and rails, which are for, um, railing against injustice?
And the guy thought it was mine! Wow, its probably the manliest thing I've ever achieved.
But nope, I'm the tiny little hatchback you asked three ladies about before sheepishly asking if it was mine. It might not be manly, but I'll tell you this, when I'm in a lane, I'm frequently within that lane for almost all the time I'm trying to be!
Alright, I think my car is nearly done, now for the real challenge, there are puddles out there people, can I get in without getting my socks wet? Time for some mother fucking heroics.