Jessica sat on the lips of the steps leading down to the beach.
'If only these steps could talk' she thought to herself with a rye chuckle.
'Holy crap, it'd probably tell Harry's wife what we did here, and she'd come and carve my fucking vagina out!'
So she took out her lighter, crushed it with her foot, dropped her cigarette on it, and lit it all on fire.
As she ran back to her car, the bathers on the beach were noticeably intrigued by the the cry that echoed off the sand banks...
'That's what you get when you can't keep your mouth shut, you gossiping cunt!'