Her belly was full and sore and misshapen.
Her throat was bleeding.
Her teeth were chipped and broken.
Piano wire stuck out from all corners of her face.
She had really really really misunderstood what the legendary keys man had meant when he said 'if you want to be a great piano player you have to have piano inside of you'
I mean what a moron.
Who eats a piano?
It's just dumb.
Clearly he meant figuratively.
This chick was dumber than buying a dog in hope to use it as a housecleaner.
Her plan was as foolish as saving up trillions of dollars to buy the Great Wall of china to try and stop Shelly in accounting from using your teacup.
She was stupider than covering your testicles in honey next to a fire ant nest hoping that your screams in pain will attract a crowd that you can now sell encyclopedias to.
She was more idiotic than covering your front lawn in green plastic army men with the intent of their heroics inspiring you to finally tell your boss that you think we're all made of fairy dust memories and that therefore you should be able to howl at clients if you desire.
She was as doltish as your average chalk eating, glass monkey sculpting, tennis lawyer
, who thinks waxing stations would make good money laundering traps for warmongering toy yacht enthusiasts.
Ok that one's actually genius.
But SHE was just imbecilic.
Although she does now make a killing on the competitive eating circuit.
I guess the lesson is raw talent matters.