Saturday, October 17, 2015

When seven is two too few - a poem

When seven is two too few - a poem 

Sometimes I think I could finally find fulfillment and contentment from life if I could just think of two more reasons to be thankful for cows.

This has been an example of a time when seven is two too few

The end. 

And now, as asked, nay DEMANDED, by all who read the above poem, here are seven reasons to be thankful for cows

1. Dairy products. Diary products are delicious and nutritious, and you can't enjoy a nice salad with bacon bits and goat cheese without first thanking the cow for his farm friends  the goats and the bacons.
2. Beef. You got beef with your neighbor? That's because he had the volume WAY to loud on this meat smoker.
3. Leather. Who amongst us doesn't occasionally put on a leather jumpsuit and drop a couple of squirrels down the neck hole for fun?
4. The colors black and white, first invented by the side of cows (At least this is what I've been arguing for years, fuck the current 'official' first. I'm adamant that the time a white horse fell down a well merely invented white and very, very, very blackish looking purple!) 
5. Buckets of cow piss. Buckets are great receptacles to get rid of your cow piss. 
6. Moo. An awesome word for bullies to cruelly taunt the overweight kids at school, ultimately leading them to murder those bullies, leaving us inbetweeners all the time in the world to yell 'koo-koo' at people who forgot to climb the local tall dude.
7. Lists. First invented to list reasons to be thankful for cows. 

No comments:

Post a Comment