Sunday, February 21, 2016

Burrowing In the Apple

Jerry, the bookworm, was in a bookstore looking for a book on the topic of  - Things that you cannot find on your typical train – Things like:

-       Elephants talking to small illiterate dogs.
-       People who respect their fellow humans right to be humans that follow fashionable friendship protocol to forget highfaluting fantasies involving regular acceptable human emotions as filtered through an unstoppable need to at least twice a day scream “skyscraper” at several two to four story buildings that have clearly failed to live up to their potential floor number capabilities.
-       Clean floors.

But this particular bookstore only had books on - Things that you can always find on your typical atypical train – Things like:

-       Sandwich faced hat-making ghosts.
-       Floating self aware machines that can’t tell the difference between hope and harpooned scarecrows, but that are flawless at telling the difference between sand-papered scalps and sand-blasted bubbles of knowledge generated by unscrupulous tactics in carnation growing farming.
-       Dirty floors.

With the type of book he was looking for grossly unrepresented Jerry decided to not purchase anything on this trip to the bookstore.

Patrice, the bookstore owner, was saddened by this lack of purchase. Partly because she really needed the sale, or else the bookstore risked bankruptcy, and because she had ordered that book in specifically thinking it was right up Jerry’s alley, especially seeing as he had previously purchased books on – Things you can sometimes find on some trains but not other trains depending on when you’re on the train – and even weird books like – Things on boats.

In frustration she decided to write her own book on – Things that she wished she could find on your regular every day typical train – Things like:

-       Magazines that are no longer published covering topics of gross misinformation regarding what it should take to uncover the meaning behind greasy clouds giving speeches on the lack of opportunities they’re given to shine in social settings versus the regular hate mechanics which percolate beneath the surface of giant clocks which can’t fit on your average train leading to unlikely collusion with purple dyed silk dresses, due to their mutual friendship with the thought making miscreants of the overlord controlled underclasses.
-       Tennis players with no hands, or feet, and with personalities peppered with influence caused by their life long highlights being inconsequential meetings with high class leading religious leader’s hand maiden turncoats conspiracies
-       Floors that were recently cleaned but subsequently had a bit of dirt get on them.

Jerry bought a copy, and the bookstore was saved!

The end.

Ps. Yay, isn’t a happy ending nice sometimes?

Pps: And they also ended up getting together romantically.

Ppps: Awwww, isn’t a SUPER happy ending nice sometimes?

Pppps: Then the elephant sat on the illiterate dog.

Ppppps: God damn it!

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