Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Boldly doing stuff

'Okay! I'm gonna do it. No no no, I HAVE to do it'. 

That's the type of awesome, pumped up, call to arms as said, nay SCREAMED, by people who do stuff, and more specifically stuff like 'it', and when I hear things like that it reminds me of things. Things like the fact that here at Fleeting Forever we have a bold mission statement: Do stuff. 

And here at Fleeting Forever we're not the type of people who take things lightly. Consider these four points on things we do or do not take lightly:

1. We do NOT take 'mission statements' lightly.
2. We do NOT take 'boldness' lightly.
3. We DO take being places lightly (especially heavy places, like clouds made of refined lead floating in vats of oil, with the vats being on fire, and with cracks in the vats, and with the vats being located above the flimsy ceiling of a children's school, the flimsiness being a result of letting the students do most of the carpentry work, which turned out to be a mistake, despite it being a rousing success at the 'adult school of advanced carpentry: that is carpentry school for students already quite advanced in the skill of carpentry', so the fact that it didn't work at this school baffled school administrators, yet not as much as their failed 'let's let the school's pet gnats decide where to keep vats of dangerous stuff' program, I mean what sort of idiots let the kids pick what sort of school pet they get? Everyone knows kids choose whichever animal is most likely to light stuff on fire!) 
4. And we do NOT take 'have' lightly!

That's right. So at best we could justify taking the decree to 'do stuff' one quarter lightly, but we wont. We CAN'T. Because one quarter is a TINY amount. Consider one quarter of these things:

1. An atom of an ant.
2. The memories of a blind worm.
3. Jupiter.
4. A small breath of air as breathed by a small air breathing air bubble.

Yep, only one forth of that even amounts to anything, and even though that particular one fourth amounts to more stuff than on the entire of planet earth I think we've still proven that a quarter of stuff is nothing. 

We also won't take quarter lightly because if we do then a quarter of us will legally have to jump on that vat, and those school kids will then be crushed and burned due to their own laxidasical and poorly thought out pet choices, and nothing BUT that, which is exactly HOW that should go down. I mean gnats, seriously? Of course they're going to be haphazard with vats, they're totally pissed off their name rhymes with wats, because 'wats' aren't anything, and who would ever want their name to rhyme with something that doesn't at least a quarter exist? 

So we ARE going to 'do stuff'. And because we've talked about it so much already we're going to make sure we do it boldly, and if we're going to do something boldly we're going to make the thing we do a bold thing, and there is nothing bolder than making a bold statement! Except of course there is - making a bold statement BOLDLY! 

Here goes, consider these four boldly stated statements:

1. You shouldn't hug garbage.
2. Spinal Dysophage Disease doesn't sound that nice.
3. Cheese is often kept in the fridge.
4. Being stabbed in the eye sounds unpleasant. 


Yeah we fucking did it. Clearly all four of those statements was stated boldly, but one out of four of those statements was also in itself BOLD! And as we've established one out of four of things is kick ass! 

And yes, yes, fucking yes, I hear the doubters, I hear the cries, I hear the naysayers, I even hear he lollygaggers, and I hear the voices of reason.

'Which one was bold'
'Not always'
'Depends what sort of cheese'
'What the hell ARE we?' 
'Yeah, we know, it's a cold dairy product, of course it goes in the fridge'. 

But you can all shut it.

And by 'it' I mean your mouth. 

And by 'shut' I mean something akin to open but not quite, depending on how you feel. 

Because we here at Fleeting Forever do stuff, and when we say that you can once again count that stuff will be DONE. 

By which of course all I really mean is - hey who the fuck left the cheese out on my kitchen bench? Don't you know it's supposed to go in the fridge

Also I think my pet small air breathing air bubble has stopped breathing, anyone know how to give CPR to something with an outer membrane less strong than a gnats pinky toe? I really could do with it living, it's supposed to tell me by tomorrow where I should keep my melting cauldron of liquid hydrogen encased in a crate made out of killer bees! 

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