Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Everyone Does

Today's been one of those days. Yes THOSE days. You know the ones? Everyone does. Where you wake up and get slapped in the face, and you go 'hello, what's this, a kidnapping, yaaaaayyy' and then it's not that, so you go 'it's not a kidnapping, that's strange, then what is this?' and a murky shadow of silence whispers 'actually it would he strange if it WAS a kidnapping' and then you go 'says who' and it goes 'just about everyone actually' and you go 'actually I don't think "everyone" ever has the same relationship to experiences you dick, plus you still haven't answered the question, if it's not a kidnapping, then what IS it?' and then it goes 'it's TRUTH!' And then you go 'how can murky shadow of "silence" whisper' and it yells back 'I was being mysterious you dick!' 

We've all been there. And there is nothing you can do but RECKON with that truth, because that murky shadow of silence has a bad attitude, and who wants to deal with THAT? Frankly if a murky shadow of silence doesn't have a good attitude I don't even want them in my room pre-dawn.

So right now I'm reckoning with truth. And that's hard, because truth is subjective. 

Like take this undeniable fact: 

'Quitting pie is often the fastest way to delinquency! The fastest!'

It's as true as the sky is blue, and the hue is too, but rarely is glue and that you shouldn't try to poo out a screw. 

And it's especially true for kids that are part of the 'jam them full of pie, that'll stop them being delinquent I reckon. But still, hey, between you and me, how cool is delinquency man! It's a gem. It's got mischief, shenanigans no good up toness, and sometimes even thieving, and theiving is super fun, especially when you realize realistically that you can just about always thieve delicious stuff, oooohh stuff like pie, mmmm pie, I could go some pie right now, wish we didn't give it all to these little delinquent shits, let's go steal some' program. 

Which if you ask me was a fine program, super fine even. 

And well, sure it had its draw backs, the name was a tad long, and some of its developers turned out to be thieves, and over all it proved to increase, rather than decrease, total delinquency, but hardly any of the kids on the program were delinquent while they were actually eating the pie.

Well, sure some of them were truant from school while they were eating the pie, but I think that has just as much to do with the fact that sign ups for the program happened during school hours, and right in front of the school, and on test day, so you can't blame them for that particular act of delinquency, the truancy that is. 

But when the program ran out of pie almost every one of them turned to delinquency. Especially seeing as they ran out of pie at 2:43am and all of them had curfews between 11pm and 1am. Oh and also because the pies turned out to be laced with drugs. Which were illegal in the town this program began. 

Regardless of these small obstacles though, TRUTH shone through. Stopping eating pie led to delinquency FAST!

So if you don't want to be a delinquent don't quit pie today. Although I heard delinquency is a gem. So feel free to go that way too. 

Okay, truth reckoned with successfully, it turned out in this case their was no element open to subjective opinion, so that's nice.

But I'm still not satisfied, why DIDN'T the murky shadow of silence want to kidnap me? I'm a good kid.

Also how come no one ever shoved my face full of free pie? It really has just been one of those days. But you know what it's like. Everyone does. 

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