The Best Day Of My Life Project – four teens flush with ideas

Hello everybody, how the hell are you all? I’m pretty damn good, thanks for asking, because I had an awesome day. I might even go as far as to say it was the best day of my life! In fact I WILL say that, because I am obligated to say it, as it is the theme and point of this blog. Although I hate to use the word ‘obligated’ as it has so many negative connotations. I think because it reminds me of the word ‘oblique’. Which of course, quite clearly, has the word ‘bleak’ in it. Which is of course doubly negative, because it reminds you of ‘beaks’ which are pointy, and therefore judgmental, and has the word ‘leak’ hidden within it, which is oxymoronic, because a leak is like the opposite of keeping something hidden within, and oxymoronic is obviously negative because that word quite clearly has hidden within it the word ‘xymor’ which makes people like me furious with rage wrath, because it doesn’t exist!

But why? Why doesn’t it exist? It’s clearly an awesome looking word, it would easily slide into the dictionary, would be awesome to pronounce, and would even look grand when tattooed onto a young ladies pubis region. And ‘pubis’ is a word that always makes me think of Rubik’s Cubes, because of some weird flawed paradox rhyme reason, and ‘paradox’ is one of my favorite words ever!! So Hell Yeah today is the best day of my life.

Several things are coming to my mind right now:

-       I just wrote today ‘is’ the best day of my life, and then went to edit it to make it say ‘was’ the best day of my life. Fuck that, editing sucks, let’s let out the stream of conscieneness truth which right now is saying – yep I know that the word ‘conscieneness’ that I just wrote, twice now, so words plural, have red squiggly lines under them, but why the hell should I fix the spelling of them, the truth is that my stream of conscieneness wants that to be the spelling of that word right now, and I know it’s seen the real spelling of that word, it has that information, the front normal memory of my brain has an excuse to get it wrong, because it’s a stupidly spelled word, but not the stream which knows everything, and hides away most of my childhood, I assume only with plans to let it leak around the time I am next in desperate need of emotional and mental wellbeing – by which of course I mean – why would I write ‘was’ – the day might be in it’s dwindling twilight hours, ‘twilight’ being a word that is often used to describe the period of their lives old people are in when writers do not want to write ‘near death’, which is stupid because most of the fun happens after the sun goes down, but my day is not done, it is still going, and brilliantly too, so today ‘is’ the best day of my life damn it, and writing about near death old people is stupid, you should save that copy for the obituary you’ll need to be dishing out soon, and obituary is a word that reminds me of ‘obligation’ – Hell Yeah – full circle!

-       Is it really a cube if the sides are not smooth and uniform? I think little Mr Rubik might not be the flawless geometry wiz he’s always boasting he is at awards shows dedicate to shape based game inventors.  

-       Xymor is becoming a real word right the hell now – Xymor: When a mistake reveals a greater truth than accuracy could or ever would be able to reveal.

-       Wow, that’s a bitching word.

-       Coined by David Tieck, for any Webster’s people at their computers right now reading this blog while taking a brief break from updating the latest dictionary.

-       Use ‘xymor’ in a sentence? Ok, I bloody well will: The girl with a tattoo of the sun on her pubis let her future lover know that he was not as smart as he originally thought he was after she said to him ‘now I want you to burn your tongue’ and he proceeded to leave the room and stick his tongue onto a preheated frying pan, xymor was also evident.

-       I really wanted to use the word ‘fluent’ in the last point, but I just could not figure out a way to sneak it in, a condition I will now coin a word for: ‘xyhym’.

-       Wow, I am on word coining fire!

-       You’re welcome future scramble players.

-       Oh and for those of you who play scrabble with voice recognition devises the word xymor is pronounced ‘ecksy-more’, because that’s phonetic, which is how all words should damn well be spelled, and therefore obviously ‘xyhym’ is pronounced ‘qflygck’. Whoops, sorry, that was the Dutch pronunciation of ‘uh-uh’, it’s pronounced ‘zim’. 

-       I’d like to write more about why I love the word ‘paradox’ but even though I am a genius writer who never ever gets writers block ever, I can’t think of anything to say about this word, this word I perhaps love more than any other. I wish there was a word to describe the situation I am talking about.

-       See what I was doing there was attempting to give an example of ‘parodox’ while simultaneously saying that I was unable to. If I had of actually pulled it off it would have been extremely funny. Also I also love the word ‘simultaneously’, a word that was coined after a moment of pure xymor.

-       Also maybe the girl with the sun pubis tattoo and the moron lover were meant to be, I mean she was the one who left the frying pan on over the heat.

I should probably talk about my day a bit

-       I did a fun stand-up set tonight.

-       Got some other jobs done.

-       I am so busy that even though I am flush with ideas I could not dream of taking on any other projects at the moment.

Ps. Wouldn’t ‘Furious With Rage Wrath’ make an awesome name for a parody punk band? Fuck yeah it would, let’s do this - I’ll play guitar, who wants to play bass?

At the zoo

Fun Fact: it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown.... at a monkey stabbing a zookeeper in the face for farting in the enclosure and yet blaming the horrific smell on the monkey, on take your knife to the zoo and then run in the enclosures with your knife in your pocket yet too loose to guarantee the knife won't fall out day' - own up to your farts y'all, that's all I'm saying 

The Best Day Of My Life initiative – Thirteen Lucky Hours

Hi everybody, I believe this is the earliest I have ever gotten around to starting writing this and yet simultaneously by the far the least energy I have to write this. I have just finished a day of shooting for a webseries myself, and various talented friends of mine are making, and the day started at 7:30am and we worked straight through to near on 1am, and frankly I am fucking exhausted. That might well be a whole thirteen straight hours work, but I am so tired that there is frankly zero chance of me being able to count exactly how much time that is. It might be twenty-four hours for all I know, which may be half a day on the new calendar, and time increments, and things of solar and lunar equations, and whatever else comes into consideration for how long days are, because I am so tired, maybe they changed all that shit and I just can’t lock the new info in my brain.

I’m not complaining though, really I mean that. For a bunch of really good reasons:

A – People with real jobs work this hard all the time. So fuck me for even thinking of complaining.

B – It was actually awesome, much of it was super fun, and I very proud of myself and my team for all the work we have done, and the quality of what we pulled off, and overall it is such a positive thing that today was the best day of my life initiative.

C – I’m thinking of not writing the word ‘initiative’ on these all the time, and maybe circulating in other words that I considered when originally crafting this project of mine – words like ‘project’ for example.  

D  - It’s a well known truth that the first member of a film crew to complain about their workload in a public forum will subsequently become subject to other members of their team reading said complaints and then showing up at the next scheduled work day with harsh, and biting reactions like ‘hey, I worked hard too you know’, ‘yeah it was a hard day wasn’t it’, and ‘that was fun last time aye, I mean it was a long day, but a fun one’ – and frankly I don’t think I could handle those types of insults coming my way anytime soon.

E - My brain is so fucking fried right now that the chances of me coming up with a coherent complaint are about as likely as charmony grolling fracking.

F – I mean seriously? ‘Charmony grolling fracking’, yeah right! I could imagine ‘charmanoy grailling fracking’ obviously, but I don’t think even the deepest of mole people penetrating science moguls would dare even mention the possibility of charmony grolling fracking, so let’s not get insane here people.

G – Or like ‘scheme’ – that’s another synonym for ‘initiative’ I think.

H – Wait I think I just thought of a coherent complaint – I am tired.

I – Oh fuck, I forgot about D, I am going to get it hard on set this week, fuck!

And now, having reached the end of a list of things, I bring you something different, a different list of things, this time things that work better than my brain right now:

-       Magnets to help squirrels find their buried nuts.

-       Balloon cushions to catch knives dropped from blimps.  

-       Whipped cream pants.

Oh also if they have changed the calendar I hope one of the months is now called ‘enterprise’ – yep it’s another synonym for initiative! Yay. I think.

The Best Day Of My Life Initiative - Twelve Random Words

Scatology

Blindness

Harpoon

Terrific

Jaunty

Lording

Neophyte

Delivering

Frantic

Kindness

Behooved 

Omnipotent

Revolving

No, those are not the twelve random words as promised in tonight’s blog’s headlining headline, and not just because that list actually includes fourteen words, something that I would be surprised if anyone took specific note of, but would not be surprised if some people went back on to check. Which is kind of super cool actually. I never really expect my blog to actually garner real proper readers. Perhaps the odd person from time to time, but surely not anyone who would not just read this, but take out extra time to count things. Especially that many things. I mean I can imagine that if I wrote:

Creaming

Vigilante

Uttered

Glue  

And then said to you ‘those are not the twelve random words as promised in this blog’s headline’, well then I could imagine people going back to check and count. Because those are pretty clearly not twelve random words. I mean they could be, if several words thrust together, like India was many years ago, at least fourteen, thrust into China, in an almighty crash, forming the Himalayas, and making geographers go ‘aw man, now I have to redraw all my maps’ – and that is very realistic, because there definitely ARE several words hidden within those three. Words – ‘min’, ‘ante’, ‘red’, ‘vigil’, ‘reaming’, ‘ream’, ‘ ante’, ‘la’, ‘cream’ and ‘igilant’ all being very commonly used and obvious examples, and so if we add those to the original three, then what are we up to? Six or seven at least. Plus, those geographers really did have to redraw their maps; you’re hardly going to want one with India floating around the ocean trying to chat up Papua New Guiney? Are you? So I can believe you’d go back and check on those numbers.

Those yes, but I must now point out that that original list of thirteen words listed above, are not the ones promised in the title, and not just because I say so, but because those aren’t ‘random’ words – In fact they were the very important, first to come to my brain, stream of consciousness words that were put there for a very important mission, to get me close to reaching the end of this blog quickly, so I can go to bed, because even though today was quite plainly the best day of my life, it’s been extremely busy, and tomorrow I must get up at the snap of that sunrise dealy, for an even WAY, WAY, WAY busier day. (We’re filming a webseries, which I am sure I will write more about at some other time – although maybe not, who knows what the hell I am capable of, I am damn crazy!

Still, putting aside my mental wellbeing, I definitely did promise twelve random words in this blog, and I shall not be someone who disappoints, so for the record the twelve random words in this blog post as follows:

Headlining

Specific

Really

Definitely

Real

Out

Super

Glue

Way

Definitely

The

Ocean

Post

And the words on THIS least WERE all added at random, after I wrote the rest of this blog. Merely scattered haphazardly within the body of the text, with very little thought other than, ‘I guess that doesn’t fuck up the original sentence too much’.  And I will be SHOCKED if anyone goes back to check hat those words are really there, let alone count them. Why the hell would anyone? Take a quick read of the post and move on I say.

Ps. That last list only had eleven words, don’t you people pay attention?

Pps. Poor geographers, it probably took them three or four weeks to redraw all those maps! Then again, sometimes your busiest day is the best day of your life initiative. 

The Best Day of My Life Initiative – Eleven lonely lepers

Ok, right off the bat I need to talk about the title for this blog. I wrote the number eleven, because this is the eleventh edition of this new blog initiative of mine, which is about living every day as if it’s the best of my life, or at least looking over the past day of my life and thinking about it as if it was the best day of my life, so that I can go to sleep content, and happy, and with a cheerful song in my dreamland forecasts.

Although in reality I often get to this point in the evening and think ‘it shouldn’t be just about thinking back over my day and remembering a negative thing, but choosing now to focus on a positive thought process for it, but rather about during the day focusing on making it the best day of my life, with active in the moment reevaluation, for things like ‘this is hard work, but rather than complain or wish for it to end as soon as possible, I choose in this moment to see the positives, the fact that hard work will make me grow, develop, and evolve even, at least in whatever field the work I am doing is in, and to see any watching for the in the moment benefits and joyful angles.

For nothing is ever completely negative, nor is anything completely positive. Even the dropping of bombs on a village of innocent bystanders created a job for a previously hard on his luck bomb builder, and even winning the whole god damn championship with your indoor squash tournament team requires you to listen to a Queen song you may or may not be in the mood for.

I believe it was Confucius who invented that theory after seeing his brother Yin Yang Confucius, hook up with a butter face, which is a derogatory term I do not care for, because butter is delicious, and makes anything better, so a ‘butter face’ should insinuate deliciousness please, and Confucius upon witnessing this hook up heard ‘We will Rock you’ come on the loud speaker, when to his utter dismay, the drum beat got stuck in his head, and he accidently wrote his next three musings in unnecessary iambic pentameter, which were then heard by William Shakespeare who thought ‘wow, if I remove the line ‘Juliet is considered a butter face’ this play might finally make people identify with Juliet a tad more’.

Which brings me to my point – I want to talk about the title for this post right away, without any dillying nor dallying, two things which I have no idea what mean, where they come from, what context were they first coined, whether or not they have alternative meanings - and equally I do not currently feel like pursuing the game ‘I want to do this right away – so I will delay getting there on purpose for comedic possibilities’.

So I wrote the word ‘eleven’ and then I reached for my late night diet soda (caffeine free, because I am healthy).

Also it just occurred to me that I am making this nightly job seem chorey, as I worry too much about it being ‘good’ – it’s not about that Dave, it’s about positivity and having a little free reined silly stream of consciousness outpour of positivity for fucks sake. Maybe I will go back and add in some silliness, nah fuck that.

Oh by the way ‘musing’ was a word coined by Confucius after he got a lame cliché tattoo of like a circle with a black side with a white dot, and then a white side with a black dot and he thought – ‘damn I better come up with some sort of profound meaning for this tattoo or else I’ll end up having to get it covered with a giant tattoo of a game of ping pong’.

Fucking hell – ok, I wrote eleven – then I picked up my late night diet soda (caffeine free because I am healthy, and want to sleep at some point) – then the next word that came into my mouth, via way of my brain, with a quick inspiration session with my tongue was the word ‘lonely’ – after which I thought ‘throw another ‘L’ word in there and ahoy alliteration. And the first L word I thought of was ‘Leper’.

So there you go – that’s where that came from – I don’t actually want to write about lepers, my day included only minor contact with them, and frankly I don’t find them to be that interesting in the long run – although their arm wrestling contests can be good for a laugh. Zing – nah it’s a horrible, tragic disease.

I just read over this getting ready to post – but then I realized I never got around to writing about my actual day – but on the other hand I did realize I wrote ‘whatever field the work I am’ etc and I wanted to throw in ‘oh shit, I didn’t mean an actual “field”, but like whatever job subsector I am in’ and then it occurred to me ‘oh fuck, that’s where that term came from - “what field do you work in”. People in ancient times must have worked in literal ‘fields’ – and now I am thinking that those people must have just stuck in one field their whole days, if not years, on a specific job – no wonder cows were forced to evolve from eating live swamp rats into eating grass – those lazy field workers never shifted across to feed them. Wait, no I didn’t make that up, that’s clearly another awesome Confucius musing.